As some of you know, I currently work in a restaurant, and have worked in some form of service industry since I was 15. There are some things most people know about being a customer in a restaurant, but since most people in the world have not worked in some form of service industry, I want to empart upon you some tips. Here are some do's and don'ts that you might not really know about.
#1 - Tipping on a reduced check: Alright you pennypinchers, for those of you who can't afford things at 100% cost and use coupons, or those of you that complain enough to get a meal comped or some % off, what do you do when you tip the waiter? Say you had a 100 dollar meal and a 50 dollar gift certificate. Your waiter was fine, you think 15% is fine, so you tip...$7.50? Incorrect. Tip your waiter on the ORIGINAL bill. If I serve you 100 dollars worth of food, you should tip me on 100 dollars. Your waiter didn't give you 50% of his time, don't give him 50% of his tip.
I had a couple just this afternoon, each ordered a glass of wine, entree, very pleasant. They each had a 20 dollar coupon, so their 45 dollar meal came out to around $4.50. They left $6 dollars and left. To them I'm sure they thought they left a nice 30% tip. But in actuality, they left a 3% tip. Thanks for that ladies. Please never come back again.
#2 - Remember a % is a %, not a #: So this old adage of tipping %15 is a nice bar, but it's really a suggestion. You have to keep perspective about your bill, the amount of work the waiter does, how big a restaurant it is and how much of a pain in the ass you've been. Also, PLEASE don't be a smug tipper. If you go into a late night diner, say you're on a date and you order a couple of shakes and an order of fries. A $16 dollar bill, say you want to be impressive in front of your girl and leave a $20. Wow, look at you, that's a 25% tip. I tell you what, your date might be impressed, but the waiter or waitress just got $4 dollars. In reality, that's still $4. If you want to really leave a nice tip, think about quantitative numbers.
General rule of thumb I use, if it's just me at a diner and I want to be a nice person, I leave tips in 8-12 dollar increments. Regardless of your bill, keep in mind how much you're actually leaving.
On that same note, if there's 4 of you and you're in a nice place and you've been hanging around for an hour or so, tip well based on %s, not #s. $20 dollars may seem like a nice tip, but not when you've racked up a $140 bill and your waiter has prepared a nice birthday cake presentation and didn't get anything wrong.
#3 - Are you a person? So am I!: This one is sort of obvious, but you gotta remember it. Waiter, bus boys, hostesses, cooks, managers are all people. They have legs, eyes, ears just like you do. The bus boys have 2 hands and they aren't super heroes. They can only hold so much at once. Waiters have brains just like you do, we can forget things. I'm sure you've forgotten something before, so if your waiter forgets the ketchup or a refill of something, don't yell at them. Don't bring the manager over unless service was terrible. If the food was wrong, cold, had a hair in it and gave you food poisoning while in the restaurant, then complain. If you come during what appears to be a dinner rush and you feel like food is taking a while to get to your table...don't ask for 15% off.
#4 - Watch "Waiting": While it's not a perfect movie, and while I may love it more because of Ryan Reynolds, it is a great movie that gets some of the mentality about working in a restaurant. Take this movie into perspective. It's a comedy. It's surely based on true events. All of those characters, the principles and the customers, are all real and all exist.
These are just some things to keep in mind when dining. Nothing is set in stone. Each time you go out will be different. But keep some of these in the back of your head. For your sake and ours.
8.29.2008
8.27.2008
Aussie Green
(Note: I actually wrote this while in Sydney, right after I went through this art piece)
So one thing that we got to doing in Sydney was see an art installation in the Opera House. I'll try and relive the experience best as I can for you, but it was quite unique.
You walk in to the main concert hall and it's pitch black. There's a soft mist and some warm moving glows. I switched on the little miner's light I was given and I walked in to the jungle of Sydney. The entire lower levels and stage area were taken over by trees and plants and fog machines. I just sort of walked around through the paths, up and down the stairs and through the aisles. All around you is plant life ranging from shrubs to ferns and trees. You can't really see anyone around you because everyone has a little light around their face and it's too dark to focus on anyone's particular face. So you're basically just walking around with faceless people all around you through paths of overwhelming trees. The initial reaction I had was, wow this is a lot of shrubbery to put into a theater. Then I let it sort of take over me and let the senses kick in. Touching the trees and plants, becoming a part of the installation as opposed to just viewing it. Taking in a soft music from a guitarist somewhere around. It was sort of humbling, almost like walking through a faux-jungle. But the mystique and serenity sort of morphed.
Then I started thinking about it on a different level. What was the point? Maybe the point, at least what I initially got out of it, was to show off the base, animalistic center we are all akin to. In the middle of everything commercial, everything huge and loud, is a soft forest. In the middle of the every day hustle and bustle, there is a calming tree and fog. I let that feeling sink in for a bit. Then I realized that I hated the term "hustle and bustle" and that this seemed like a pretty on the nose way of going about it. I have no idea what the intention of this experimental artist was, but I started looking at something new. I noticed a few things.
First there was a moment where I saw a guy emerge from what looked like a cool hidden passageway. I looked down, ready to embark and he caught me and said, "that's not a normal path. Sorry." Then there were the few camera men around I presume taking in people's expressions and what not for a DVD of some sort. These weren't really reminders to me that I wasn't actually in a jungle, I'm not really that shallow to say that I got so entrapped that I was pulled out by a guy with a camera. But it made me realize that we can't recreate everything. We can't recreate what a jungle is actually like, all we can do is make artist's interpretations.
Earlier on my trip I swam in the Great Barrier Reef and touched a turtle. You can't recreate that. There are always going to be some things in nature that man can't remake. We can describe them and explain them and tell stories about them and document them and take pictures of them, but we'll never actually be able to create what nature can. And that, to me, proves that there is some sort of greater power out there making things that we just can't. Man can create amazing architecture and amazing advances in medicine, but we can't accurately create a jungle. We can't create experiences of nature, as much as we try. And that's what I left the Forest with. A sense of humility that I felt when I got out of the water after being feet away from sharks. A sense that there are things in this world that man will never be able to comprehend or make or control. I kind of like that feeling.
So one thing that we got to doing in Sydney was see an art installation in the Opera House. I'll try and relive the experience best as I can for you, but it was quite unique.
You walk in to the main concert hall and it's pitch black. There's a soft mist and some warm moving glows. I switched on the little miner's light I was given and I walked in to the jungle of Sydney. The entire lower levels and stage area were taken over by trees and plants and fog machines. I just sort of walked around through the paths, up and down the stairs and through the aisles. All around you is plant life ranging from shrubs to ferns and trees. You can't really see anyone around you because everyone has a little light around their face and it's too dark to focus on anyone's particular face. So you're basically just walking around with faceless people all around you through paths of overwhelming trees. The initial reaction I had was, wow this is a lot of shrubbery to put into a theater. Then I let it sort of take over me and let the senses kick in. Touching the trees and plants, becoming a part of the installation as opposed to just viewing it. Taking in a soft music from a guitarist somewhere around. It was sort of humbling, almost like walking through a faux-jungle. But the mystique and serenity sort of morphed.
Then I started thinking about it on a different level. What was the point? Maybe the point, at least what I initially got out of it, was to show off the base, animalistic center we are all akin to. In the middle of everything commercial, everything huge and loud, is a soft forest. In the middle of the every day hustle and bustle, there is a calming tree and fog. I let that feeling sink in for a bit. Then I realized that I hated the term "hustle and bustle" and that this seemed like a pretty on the nose way of going about it. I have no idea what the intention of this experimental artist was, but I started looking at something new. I noticed a few things.
First there was a moment where I saw a guy emerge from what looked like a cool hidden passageway. I looked down, ready to embark and he caught me and said, "that's not a normal path. Sorry." Then there were the few camera men around I presume taking in people's expressions and what not for a DVD of some sort. These weren't really reminders to me that I wasn't actually in a jungle, I'm not really that shallow to say that I got so entrapped that I was pulled out by a guy with a camera. But it made me realize that we can't recreate everything. We can't recreate what a jungle is actually like, all we can do is make artist's interpretations.
Earlier on my trip I swam in the Great Barrier Reef and touched a turtle. You can't recreate that. There are always going to be some things in nature that man can't remake. We can describe them and explain them and tell stories about them and document them and take pictures of them, but we'll never actually be able to create what nature can. And that, to me, proves that there is some sort of greater power out there making things that we just can't. Man can create amazing architecture and amazing advances in medicine, but we can't accurately create a jungle. We can't create experiences of nature, as much as we try. And that's what I left the Forest with. A sense of humility that I felt when I got out of the water after being feet away from sharks. A sense that there are things in this world that man will never be able to comprehend or make or control. I kind of like that feeling.
8.05.2008
Larke Inspired
So for those of you who don't read Larke's blog, she discussed a recent Obama ad and how smug it is. I'm not going to get into how smug it is, because I think she hit the ball on the nose.
What I would like to point out is its similarity to another series of ads.
vs.
So this November, remember to vote Pepto.
And for the record, I think pretty much every campaign ad I've ever seen has been terrible and made me never want to vote for that person, Republican or Democrat.
20 dollars to anyone who can present to me one that doesn't make me want to flee the country.
What I would like to point out is its similarity to another series of ads.
vs.
So this November, remember to vote Pepto.
And for the record, I think pretty much every campaign ad I've ever seen has been terrible and made me never want to vote for that person, Republican or Democrat.
20 dollars to anyone who can present to me one that doesn't make me want to flee the country.
8.02.2008
One more update? Why not
How bout an update about me? Sure. I've started a job working as a waiter again at Timpanos. Timpanos Chop Shop and Sea Food Grill and Martini Bar. Lots of expensive steaks and wines and martinis. I should be making decent money once I get out of training and people get back from vacations and such. We'll see. So far it doesn't suck, so that's pretty much a plus.
Let's see, what else. I've been running well playing poker, except for tonight, but that's ok. It's all about managing your swings and getting your money in when it's good. After that, it's not up to you, it's up to the poker gods. Or the Full Tilt gods. Whoever you pray to.
The next few weeks are going to be exciting. The Mummy 3, Pineapple Express...Dark Knight again...could be good.
I started writing again, or, I started to buy books as research for what I want to write next. Almost done with character work and the basic outline. Should be able to get a solid beat outline soon. And I have a couple 600 page books to read. Hooray. Now, to find some time to read them.
Till then, keep it real
Let's see, what else. I've been running well playing poker, except for tonight, but that's ok. It's all about managing your swings and getting your money in when it's good. After that, it's not up to you, it's up to the poker gods. Or the Full Tilt gods. Whoever you pray to.
The next few weeks are going to be exciting. The Mummy 3, Pineapple Express...Dark Knight again...could be good.
I started writing again, or, I started to buy books as research for what I want to write next. Almost done with character work and the basic outline. Should be able to get a solid beat outline soon. And I have a couple 600 page books to read. Hooray. Now, to find some time to read them.
Till then, keep it real
Underrated Burma
I'm not going to get into a huge thing about the Dark Knight. Mainly because my feelings about it should be pretty obvious, and I don't want to let my inner fan boy erupt on my blog. So what I'll do is just quote what I feel will become the most underrated monologue in movies:
Alfred: A long time ago I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of local leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months we never met anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce: So why steal them?
Alfred: Well because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical. Like money. They cant be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Then, after a lot of things happen and explode:
Bruce: That bandit, did you ever catch him?
Alfred: Yes.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down
Alfred: A long time ago I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of local leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months we never met anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce: So why steal them?
Alfred: Well because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical. Like money. They cant be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Then, after a lot of things happen and explode:
Bruce: That bandit, did you ever catch him?
Alfred: Yes.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down
What Do Ya Say Before Ya Say G'Day?
G'Day! Is the answer. Now just imagine some very basic and not great folk guitar around that. And repeat about 40 times. There you go. Now you have Jonah and my favorite song from Australia. Sung by some weird drunk guy at the BBQ area of our hotel/lodge area in Ayres Rock. He was priceless, as was his song, "G'Day!".
I think the last time I left off, we were leaving the exotic island of Tahiti and traveling West. Here's an interesting tidbit -- we left Tahiti on Wednesday, July 21st at around midnight, and arrived in Sydney at 10am, Friday morning. Where'd Thursday go? It went to the wayside of the International Dateline. No July 22nd for me. It's ok, I'd get another day later, don't worry.
First thing we get to once in the airport is a terminal area, basic shops and such. Then I see a "Hungry Jacks". Upon further investigation I find that Hungry Jacks is actually Burger King, but Aussie style. And by Aussie style I mean, well, it's just called Hungry Jacks. I'll let you see the comparison:
After some investigation, Jonah wound find out that before Burger King came along, there was already a place in Australia called the Burger King, so they had to use a different name for copyright reasons. Way to go Burger King for being the bigger man and not buying them out. Or way to get Aussie Burger King for not selling out. Either way, now we get Hungry Jacks.
Well we weren't in Sydney long, as we were just transfering planes to Cairnes. We went from one aquatic town to another.
Cairnes is basically a surfing beach bum town, but it had a nice vibe to it. It's possible I was so jet lagged that everyone just seemed really chill, but I think it was a real vibe. We weren't really there for the town anyway. We were there for the reef. Swimming in the Great Barrier Reed has always been one of my life goals. Didn't really disappoint.
Getting sea sick out to the reef was great too. As many ginger pills as I could swallow didn't really help too much. But once we settled down and reached out dock, pier thing, I was gravy. As opposed to the Tahitian method of just jumping in, here we had instructions as how to put on a vest, how to use the snorkel, etc. Felt a little better about jumping in this time. Now, the hardest part about writing about things like this is trying to explain what it was like objectively versus fantastically.
So - In my mind - I swam around in the middle of the ocean, fish around me. I saw deep past the reef and into the deep ocean. I felt completely in control of myself while being completely submerged into something that had complete control over me.
Reality - Swam in a sectioned off area with life guards on duty and a life vest in about 15-20 foot deep water.
In my mind - I took part in this sea walk thing in which I walked on the floor of the ocean around hundreds of fish and turtles. I touched and fed beautiful schools of fish that seemed from the prehistoric era. Seeing some of these creatures literally up close and personally really makes you think about evolution and where we all came from.
Reality - I was hooked up to this astronaut type machine that made it impossible for me to not breathe while people around me fed these fish to keep them around me.
For the record, I enjoy my imagination a lot more. So let's just ignore reality for a while and see just what I did --
After some more snorkeling, we headed back.
The next day we went from the water element to the forest element. We took a cable car tour type thing over a rainforest, and ended up in an Aboriginal village, complete with semi-keetchy tour. It was actually very interesting being around actual indigenous people, not just Disney style tour guides. Here, I also learned that I am a fantastic boomerang-ist. So good in fact, that I got to keep my boomerang. I read that there's a boomerang association and they have a headquarters in DC. You can certainly bet they'll be receiving a call from me.
After all the water and forest we could handle, it was on to the next element - land/rock/sand.
Ayres Rock. We went from the oceans to smack dab in the middle of the desert. Literally. Ayres Rock is pretty much just a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. It's a huge, gorgeous red rock in the middle of nowhere.
It's quite amazing out there. If you ever travel down to Australia, I would recommend making the trip out there. It may just seem like a huge rock, but it's...well, a really big rock. There's also a lot of interesting vegetation and animal life that lives in conditions that you really wouldn't think support life.
While there we took a star gazing tour. Some of you may or may not know me well enough to know I'm sort of a space nerd, so this way pretty amazing for me. To say that I saw a lot of stars is sort of understating things. Coming from NY, where you can sometimes make out the moon through the smog, and Maryland where you can be lucky to see Venus, finally seeing stars was great. But not just the stars I'm used to. Southern Hemisphere stars, of which there are apparently a lot more. Who takes the time to count them all, I don't know, but I do know I've seen more than you (unless you're Yorrick and you live in Australia). Through telescopes we also got to see Mars (which I pointed out to my parents before the guide did), Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, Saturn really does have rings.
I'll leave you for now with one of my new all time favorite pictures from Ayres Rock.
Ta
I think the last time I left off, we were leaving the exotic island of Tahiti and traveling West. Here's an interesting tidbit -- we left Tahiti on Wednesday, July 21st at around midnight, and arrived in Sydney at 10am, Friday morning. Where'd Thursday go? It went to the wayside of the International Dateline. No July 22nd for me. It's ok, I'd get another day later, don't worry.
First thing we get to once in the airport is a terminal area, basic shops and such. Then I see a "Hungry Jacks". Upon further investigation I find that Hungry Jacks is actually Burger King, but Aussie style. And by Aussie style I mean, well, it's just called Hungry Jacks. I'll let you see the comparison:
After some investigation, Jonah wound find out that before Burger King came along, there was already a place in Australia called the Burger King, so they had to use a different name for copyright reasons. Way to go Burger King for being the bigger man and not buying them out. Or way to get Aussie Burger King for not selling out. Either way, now we get Hungry Jacks.
Well we weren't in Sydney long, as we were just transfering planes to Cairnes. We went from one aquatic town to another.
Cairnes is basically a surfing beach bum town, but it had a nice vibe to it. It's possible I was so jet lagged that everyone just seemed really chill, but I think it was a real vibe. We weren't really there for the town anyway. We were there for the reef. Swimming in the Great Barrier Reed has always been one of my life goals. Didn't really disappoint.
Getting sea sick out to the reef was great too. As many ginger pills as I could swallow didn't really help too much. But once we settled down and reached out dock, pier thing, I was gravy. As opposed to the Tahitian method of just jumping in, here we had instructions as how to put on a vest, how to use the snorkel, etc. Felt a little better about jumping in this time. Now, the hardest part about writing about things like this is trying to explain what it was like objectively versus fantastically.
So - In my mind - I swam around in the middle of the ocean, fish around me. I saw deep past the reef and into the deep ocean. I felt completely in control of myself while being completely submerged into something that had complete control over me.
Reality - Swam in a sectioned off area with life guards on duty and a life vest in about 15-20 foot deep water.
In my mind - I took part in this sea walk thing in which I walked on the floor of the ocean around hundreds of fish and turtles. I touched and fed beautiful schools of fish that seemed from the prehistoric era. Seeing some of these creatures literally up close and personally really makes you think about evolution and where we all came from.
Reality - I was hooked up to this astronaut type machine that made it impossible for me to not breathe while people around me fed these fish to keep them around me.
For the record, I enjoy my imagination a lot more. So let's just ignore reality for a while and see just what I did --
After some more snorkeling, we headed back.
The next day we went from the water element to the forest element. We took a cable car tour type thing over a rainforest, and ended up in an Aboriginal village, complete with semi-keetchy tour. It was actually very interesting being around actual indigenous people, not just Disney style tour guides. Here, I also learned that I am a fantastic boomerang-ist. So good in fact, that I got to keep my boomerang. I read that there's a boomerang association and they have a headquarters in DC. You can certainly bet they'll be receiving a call from me.
After all the water and forest we could handle, it was on to the next element - land/rock/sand.
Ayres Rock. We went from the oceans to smack dab in the middle of the desert. Literally. Ayres Rock is pretty much just a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. It's a huge, gorgeous red rock in the middle of nowhere.
It's quite amazing out there. If you ever travel down to Australia, I would recommend making the trip out there. It may just seem like a huge rock, but it's...well, a really big rock. There's also a lot of interesting vegetation and animal life that lives in conditions that you really wouldn't think support life.
While there we took a star gazing tour. Some of you may or may not know me well enough to know I'm sort of a space nerd, so this way pretty amazing for me. To say that I saw a lot of stars is sort of understating things. Coming from NY, where you can sometimes make out the moon through the smog, and Maryland where you can be lucky to see Venus, finally seeing stars was great. But not just the stars I'm used to. Southern Hemisphere stars, of which there are apparently a lot more. Who takes the time to count them all, I don't know, but I do know I've seen more than you (unless you're Yorrick and you live in Australia). Through telescopes we also got to see Mars (which I pointed out to my parents before the guide did), Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, Saturn really does have rings.
I'll leave you for now with one of my new all time favorite pictures from Ayres Rock.
Ta
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