12.31.2008
Dear 2008
Dear 2008,
Thinking back to all you did, you've been an interesting year as far as years go. Started off with a fancy pants internship, then serving burritos and margaritas, then Yankee stadium and the end of college and final papers and final projects and just final things.
Then I said good bye to New York, said hello to Australia, said hello to my basement, said hello to a fancy serving job, said hello to 5 stitches on my finger, then good bye to the stitches, hello to a scar, good bye to the basement, good bye to the job and then re-hello to New York and hello to an apartment and a job, then quickly good bye to the apartment and the job, and then a quick hello to a new apartment and that's where we are now.
You were a year of expectations and of inevitabilities, with some surprises thrown in just for kicks. And now you make me wait. Just wait until 2009 when things are supposed to happen. I guess it's fitting that we're in a presidential transition period, because that's mainly what you've been 2008, a transition year.
So cheers 2008, and let's hope you elected someone who gets things done with 2009
Asher
Thinking back to all you did, you've been an interesting year as far as years go. Started off with a fancy pants internship, then serving burritos and margaritas, then Yankee stadium and the end of college and final papers and final projects and just final things.
Then I said good bye to New York, said hello to Australia, said hello to my basement, said hello to a fancy serving job, said hello to 5 stitches on my finger, then good bye to the stitches, hello to a scar, good bye to the basement, good bye to the job and then re-hello to New York and hello to an apartment and a job, then quickly good bye to the apartment and the job, and then a quick hello to a new apartment and that's where we are now.
You were a year of expectations and of inevitabilities, with some surprises thrown in just for kicks. And now you make me wait. Just wait until 2009 when things are supposed to happen. I guess it's fitting that we're in a presidential transition period, because that's mainly what you've been 2008, a transition year.
So cheers 2008, and let's hope you elected someone who gets things done with 2009
Asher
12.24.2008
Truth about Santa
happy holidays all. here is a little known fact about our friend mr.
kringle. i hope you enjoy
No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of
organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and
germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa
has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world;
However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian
household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer
can run 15 miles per hour at the most.
The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile,
would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.
kringle. i hope you enjoy
No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of
organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and
germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa
has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world;
However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian
household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer
can run 15 miles per hour at the most.
The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile,
would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.
12.22.2008
It's Beginning to look a lot like...
Hannukah!
To all of you who celebrate, to all of you who don't, to all of you who have listened to Adam Sandler's song, or remember a Rugrat's Hannukah; to all of you, Jew, Goy, whatever, I wish you all jelly filled doughnuts, spinny plastic dreidels, sugar cookies shaped like menorahs and for the light of the candles to warm you if you're snowed in.
In times like these, I think we can all learn a lesson from the penny pinching Jews of our past who made 1 day's worth of oil last for 8 days.
Peace and good tidings to you all,
Asher
To all of you who celebrate, to all of you who don't, to all of you who have listened to Adam Sandler's song, or remember a Rugrat's Hannukah; to all of you, Jew, Goy, whatever, I wish you all jelly filled doughnuts, spinny plastic dreidels, sugar cookies shaped like menorahs and for the light of the candles to warm you if you're snowed in.
In times like these, I think we can all learn a lesson from the penny pinching Jews of our past who made 1 day's worth of oil last for 8 days.
Peace and good tidings to you all,
Asher
12.05.2008
Now Follow me on This one...
First, take this quiz --
Complete this headline from the BBC News website:"Pole dancing [...] at gallery"
A: Curators
B: Robots
C: Art students
Those of you who went out on a limb and said B, you would be oddly correct.
Now, take a moment to say those words in your head. "Robot pole dancing". Ok. Now say it out loud. It should be funny. You should be smiling. If you're at work and someone passed you by, they should be laughing. Robot Pole Dancing. The concept, idea, notion, mention and just sheer combination of those 3 words is comical.
Now, if you'll follow me on this international journey, read this article --
O, The British Are Coming
I would like someone to explain to me, in conversation or argument or a poem or an example from a movie or book or history lesson or something, but something to explain to me how the British can take the fun out of everything.
I don't know if it's more absurd that I think this is too absurd, or if it's too absurd that the Brits are making robot pole dancing serious contemporary art or that I can even have this discussion in my head and not explode.
Good night.
Complete this headline from the BBC News website:"Pole dancing [...] at gallery"
A: Curators
B: Robots
C: Art students
Those of you who went out on a limb and said B, you would be oddly correct.
Now, take a moment to say those words in your head. "Robot pole dancing". Ok. Now say it out loud. It should be funny. You should be smiling. If you're at work and someone passed you by, they should be laughing. Robot Pole Dancing. The concept, idea, notion, mention and just sheer combination of those 3 words is comical.
Now, if you'll follow me on this international journey, read this article --
O, The British Are Coming
I would like someone to explain to me, in conversation or argument or a poem or an example from a movie or book or history lesson or something, but something to explain to me how the British can take the fun out of everything.
I don't know if it's more absurd that I think this is too absurd, or if it's too absurd that the Brits are making robot pole dancing serious contemporary art or that I can even have this discussion in my head and not explode.
Good night.
11.28.2008
Happy Holidays
So I got in the car this morning and this was the first story I heard on the radio:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7755278.stm
First off, the BBC's article focuses 1 paragraph about the man that was trampled to death by eager shoppers. The rest of the article is about sales and discounts and a recession. But not the man that died trying to open a door.
Now, I haven't been counting the signs of the apocalypse lately, but with all this Mayan talk of Dec. 21st 2012 coming, this event really doesn't lead me to believe the Mayans are wrong. Americans seem to have run out of ideas how to destroy each other. We've moved past nationalism, religion, sexism, racism, now we're on to commercialism. We're killing each other to get a 60% discount on toys and DVD players.
What worries me the most about this story is the fact that this was an unintentional death. A thief who robs a store and murders is one thing. It's another thing to push someone aside and step on their bodies, in a mass hysteria where all thoughts of decency and human nature go out the window in order to grab a gift, that's the most terrifying part of this story. That we're at a point now that we can turn into animalistic beasts because of a sale.
Call it what you want. The holiday spirit; cause of a recession; just one of those random thing; but I'd look into what the Mayans are talking about a little bit more.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7755278.stm
First off, the BBC's article focuses 1 paragraph about the man that was trampled to death by eager shoppers. The rest of the article is about sales and discounts and a recession. But not the man that died trying to open a door.
Now, I haven't been counting the signs of the apocalypse lately, but with all this Mayan talk of Dec. 21st 2012 coming, this event really doesn't lead me to believe the Mayans are wrong. Americans seem to have run out of ideas how to destroy each other. We've moved past nationalism, religion, sexism, racism, now we're on to commercialism. We're killing each other to get a 60% discount on toys and DVD players.
What worries me the most about this story is the fact that this was an unintentional death. A thief who robs a store and murders is one thing. It's another thing to push someone aside and step on their bodies, in a mass hysteria where all thoughts of decency and human nature go out the window in order to grab a gift, that's the most terrifying part of this story. That we're at a point now that we can turn into animalistic beasts because of a sale.
Call it what you want. The holiday spirit; cause of a recession; just one of those random thing; but I'd look into what the Mayans are talking about a little bit more.
11.20.2008
The Emotion I Bring out in Women
This scene takes place earlier this evening. I was at a show for singer/songwriters that my friend Tom was in. The crowd was very hipster and "cool" I guess. I also recently purchased a new coat, which I am quite fond of. The coat will keep anything warm in any climate, and has a really wooly hood for good measure.
So this is during a break between acts, I went outside with Larke to get some air, and while she was on the phone, a girl comes out and lights up a cigarette. She's obviously cold and shivering.
Shivering Girl: Nice coat.
Me: Thank you.
Shivering Girl: Bet you're toasty.
Me: I am, it's a really thick coat.
Shivering Girl: I dressed for fashion.
Me: I see.
(few seconds of shivering)
Shivering Girl: Fuck this shit.
(flicks her cigarette to the ground, storms inside)
Me: Ok.
So this is during a break between acts, I went outside with Larke to get some air, and while she was on the phone, a girl comes out and lights up a cigarette. She's obviously cold and shivering.
Shivering Girl: Nice coat.
Me: Thank you.
Shivering Girl: Bet you're toasty.
Me: I am, it's a really thick coat.
Shivering Girl: I dressed for fashion.
Me: I see.
(few seconds of shivering)
Shivering Girl: Fuck this shit.
(flicks her cigarette to the ground, storms inside)
Me: Ok.
11.04.2008
What economy means
For those of you who wonder just how or why economy works in society:
(Outside of the Bolt Bus, with service from NY to DC)
Woman: Can I get on the bus?
Bus Driver: Do you have a ticket?
Woman: No.
Bus Driver: Do you have some money?
Woman: Yes!
Bus Driver: Then you can get on the bus!
(Outside of the Bolt Bus, with service from NY to DC)
Woman: Can I get on the bus?
Bus Driver: Do you have a ticket?
Woman: No.
Bus Driver: Do you have some money?
Woman: Yes!
Bus Driver: Then you can get on the bus!
10.30.2008
2008 World Champions
"One pitch, one at bat, one play, one situation, think 'small' and 'big' things result, tough at-bats, lots of walks, stay up the middle with men on base, whatever it takes to 'keep the line moving' on offense, 27 outs on defense, the Mets know you're better than they are. They remember last year. You guys are never out of a game. Welcome the challenge that confronts you this weekend. You are the stars. Good luck. #20."
-- e-mail from Mike Schmidt to the Phillies, 1 week before the end of the regular season.
And now:
-- e-mail from Mike Schmidt to the Phillies, 1 week before the end of the regular season.
And now:
10.27.2008
27 Outs Away
So most of you should know that I'm a big baseball fan. Most of you should know that I'm a big Phillies fan. But what most of you don't know is what this feels like. Watching your baseball team in the World Series is a completely indescribable experience.
Ok, Asher whatever you say you nut. But it's very hard to really describe. I'll try and explain. So I played baseball when I was kid. My first team went undefeated, but we lost in the 1st round of the playoffs. I played in middle school and into high school. I think the sport itself is more pure than any other sport, and is the most mentally and physically challenging sport out there now. Maybe next to Australian Football.
So I grow up knowing baseball, watching baseball, and went up to see Phillies games in high school, just because my dad was from Philly so I decided they were my team. Bought a hat, and followed them ever since.
The players playing now, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, Cole Hamels, Brett Myers, all came up through the Philadelphia organization. That means they were brought in to the team as AA and AAA players, were groomed in our system and stayed with us into the beginnings of their careers. I've watched these guys grow over the years. I remember Chase Utleys first game and understanding that he would be our future. I remember watching a AAA Cole Hamels game highlights because he was our big prospect.
You go season in and season out taking strides and making moves to get better a little bit at a time. Watching losing seasons and rookies learning the game. Watch vets play through their careers. For 162 games, from April to September, waiting to see if they make the playoffs.
And well...once they make the playoffs, once Shane Victorino hits his first career grand slam against the best pitcher in the NL, once 40 year old Matt Stairs comes off the bench and belts a 2 run home run in the top of the 8th in a tied ball game, once Carlos Ruiz is a hero with a 45 foot dribbler down the line in the bottom of the 9th...once all that happens.
All that's left is game 5. At home. With our ace on the mound.
Ok, Asher whatever you say you nut. But it's very hard to really describe. I'll try and explain. So I played baseball when I was kid. My first team went undefeated, but we lost in the 1st round of the playoffs. I played in middle school and into high school. I think the sport itself is more pure than any other sport, and is the most mentally and physically challenging sport out there now. Maybe next to Australian Football.
So I grow up knowing baseball, watching baseball, and went up to see Phillies games in high school, just because my dad was from Philly so I decided they were my team. Bought a hat, and followed them ever since.
The players playing now, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, Cole Hamels, Brett Myers, all came up through the Philadelphia organization. That means they were brought in to the team as AA and AAA players, were groomed in our system and stayed with us into the beginnings of their careers. I've watched these guys grow over the years. I remember Chase Utleys first game and understanding that he would be our future. I remember watching a AAA Cole Hamels game highlights because he was our big prospect.
You go season in and season out taking strides and making moves to get better a little bit at a time. Watching losing seasons and rookies learning the game. Watch vets play through their careers. For 162 games, from April to September, waiting to see if they make the playoffs.
And well...once they make the playoffs, once Shane Victorino hits his first career grand slam against the best pitcher in the NL, once 40 year old Matt Stairs comes off the bench and belts a 2 run home run in the top of the 8th in a tied ball game, once Carlos Ruiz is a hero with a 45 foot dribbler down the line in the bottom of the 9th...once all that happens.
All that's left is game 5. At home. With our ace on the mound.
10.16.2008
Tonight's Menu
Eggplant Parmesean with Ziti pasta and tomato sauce. Spiced to cook. Diced tomatoes, chopped garlic, black pepper, red pepper, cayene pepper.
Ladies, if you're looking for a stay at home husband, my resume is expanding.
Ladies, if you're looking for a stay at home husband, my resume is expanding.
10.15.2008
Top Meals of all time
One perk of being unemployed is that I can spend time refining my domestic skills. Such as cooking. Brandon and I have made commitments to learn to being above average cooks, and so far so good.
When I came back to NY from home I came up here with a cooler filled with meats. Chicken, some meat pasta sauce, a whole frozen chicken and 2 1/2 pounds of salmon. So I've been planning out some recipes.
Tonight's menu was so delicious, it got me thinking about some of my top all time meals.
Let me try and explain tonight's experience:
Honey-Cajun Fried Chicken + Phillie's game - 2 boneless thighs and 2 chicken legs. I marinated the chicken with honey and garlic seasoning, and let it sit for about an hour. I made a flour mix with cayene pepper, lemon pepper, red pepper and black pepper. Then it was just a matter of pan frying them in some nice oil.
Add a whole sweet potato, coated with brown sugar, and a bowl of peas and corn, with some garlic seasoning, and you have a spectacular meal.
Now add in Game 5 of the NLCS. As I take a sweet and spicy and so delicious bite into a thigh, Jimmy Rollins hits a lead off home run. The game is still going on, but the Phillies winning their first NL Pennant since 1993 would make this arguably tops on the following list.
Top Meals of All Time:
1. Shwarma, hummus, salad, pita, no plates - A couple summers ago I went on my Birthright trip. Perhaps my favorite night was the night we spent in a Bedouin camp. Sitting on the ground, using your pita as a plate and filling it with the most tender, succulent beef/lamb, with the eggplant, cucumbers, tomatoes, hummus. 2 of them later, and spending the rest of the night smoking hukkah with Bedouins making conversation in a combination of Hebrew and English, one of the best nights I've ever had.
2. Big Mac, it's a big deal for me - I keep Kosher. I always have. This basically means I don't eat meat in fast food. So I've spent my entire life eating fish sandwiches at McDonalds, bean burritos at Taco Bell and tuna at Subway. But in Israel, all meat is Kosher, thus, McDonalds is kosher. I've had 2 Big Macs in my time so far, and they are amazing. There really is no greater pleasure than ordering a Big Mac with a large Coke. I thoroughly enjoy it and will do so in the future.
3. Yom Kippur break fast, 8th grade - The more I think about this, the more I realize most of these meals will be somehow religion based, thus proving that Jews are all about food. Anyway, after Yom Kippur (the holiest day of the Jewish year) you eat a light meal, because you've been fasting all day. This meals bagels, blintzes, maybe fish. But when you're 13 and you're fasting for the first time, you don't realize why this is. I had bagels with white fish, cheese blintzes, cookies, cake...and I felt fantastic...until the day after. The easiest way to learn how to eat after a fast is to remember that stomach ache of the next day. I still remember those blintzes being the best I've ever had...at least at the time.
4. First meal as a college graduate - Ben's Deli, right after the Tisch graduation. This meal had the added bonus of being with the Schuldbergs, a nice delight and fun experience of being there for their first Ben's experience. Ben's has outdone the 2nd Ave. Deli in my family's eyes over the years between portion size, price and quality of meat. To celebrate being a real person, I had the following: a pastrami burger with fries. That would be a giant hamburger topped with hot pastrami. It's as good and fattening and filling as it sounds. After that meal, I felt like a real person.
The Phillies are winning 3-0 at the current moment, making this current meal very popular.
Go Phillies.
When I came back to NY from home I came up here with a cooler filled with meats. Chicken, some meat pasta sauce, a whole frozen chicken and 2 1/2 pounds of salmon. So I've been planning out some recipes.
Tonight's menu was so delicious, it got me thinking about some of my top all time meals.
Let me try and explain tonight's experience:
Honey-Cajun Fried Chicken + Phillie's game - 2 boneless thighs and 2 chicken legs. I marinated the chicken with honey and garlic seasoning, and let it sit for about an hour. I made a flour mix with cayene pepper, lemon pepper, red pepper and black pepper. Then it was just a matter of pan frying them in some nice oil.
Add a whole sweet potato, coated with brown sugar, and a bowl of peas and corn, with some garlic seasoning, and you have a spectacular meal.
Now add in Game 5 of the NLCS. As I take a sweet and spicy and so delicious bite into a thigh, Jimmy Rollins hits a lead off home run. The game is still going on, but the Phillies winning their first NL Pennant since 1993 would make this arguably tops on the following list.
Top Meals of All Time:
1. Shwarma, hummus, salad, pita, no plates - A couple summers ago I went on my Birthright trip. Perhaps my favorite night was the night we spent in a Bedouin camp. Sitting on the ground, using your pita as a plate and filling it with the most tender, succulent beef/lamb, with the eggplant, cucumbers, tomatoes, hummus. 2 of them later, and spending the rest of the night smoking hukkah with Bedouins making conversation in a combination of Hebrew and English, one of the best nights I've ever had.
2. Big Mac, it's a big deal for me - I keep Kosher. I always have. This basically means I don't eat meat in fast food. So I've spent my entire life eating fish sandwiches at McDonalds, bean burritos at Taco Bell and tuna at Subway. But in Israel, all meat is Kosher, thus, McDonalds is kosher. I've had 2 Big Macs in my time so far, and they are amazing. There really is no greater pleasure than ordering a Big Mac with a large Coke. I thoroughly enjoy it and will do so in the future.
3. Yom Kippur break fast, 8th grade - The more I think about this, the more I realize most of these meals will be somehow religion based, thus proving that Jews are all about food. Anyway, after Yom Kippur (the holiest day of the Jewish year) you eat a light meal, because you've been fasting all day. This meals bagels, blintzes, maybe fish. But when you're 13 and you're fasting for the first time, you don't realize why this is. I had bagels with white fish, cheese blintzes, cookies, cake...and I felt fantastic...until the day after. The easiest way to learn how to eat after a fast is to remember that stomach ache of the next day. I still remember those blintzes being the best I've ever had...at least at the time.
4. First meal as a college graduate - Ben's Deli, right after the Tisch graduation. This meal had the added bonus of being with the Schuldbergs, a nice delight and fun experience of being there for their first Ben's experience. Ben's has outdone the 2nd Ave. Deli in my family's eyes over the years between portion size, price and quality of meat. To celebrate being a real person, I had the following: a pastrami burger with fries. That would be a giant hamburger topped with hot pastrami. It's as good and fattening and filling as it sounds. After that meal, I felt like a real person.
The Phillies are winning 3-0 at the current moment, making this current meal very popular.
Go Phillies.
10.07.2008
Wayne/Bartlett '08
Apparently this year is an election year. I've gone back and forth about the candidates, policies, it's so much fun. I've developed a sort of bipartisanship with politics recently and I've been trying to decide if I should vote.
Before some of you jump on me and stab me with your Obama pins, I challenge most people to actually know who they're voting for before they vote for them. I'm all for universal health care, but money doesn't appear out of no where. Where's it come from? The upper class tax cuts? What's that mean? I have yet to hear someone explain to me, or any media station, HOW anyone will fix the economy. I watched about half an hour of tonight's debate before both my mom and I were like, ok they're both done saying new things, let's watch House.
Putting policy aside, I think Obama is a better candidate for our country in terms of confidence. America needs someone to be confident in before anything else. We need a reason to buy a Ford and stop buying Chinese stock. I think people will rally around Obama sooner than they will rally around Mcain. Does that mean one is a better leader than the other? I don't know.
Then when you look at the VP race...well, all goes out the window. Biden is a solid candidate who can't get a sentence out and Palin can't finish a sentence without winking. And you really have to picture either of them as President. Mcain is 72 and I'll be the first to say it, Obama is black. Both of them are just as likely, in my mind, to not finish out their presidency. Do you want 4 years of Biden/Pelosi? Palin/Pelosi? I think the latter has a nice ring to it, just for comedy's sake.
Either way, I have until next Tuesday to register to vote. I'm not registered, nope. Didn't vote last election, so I guess you can blame me for single handedly keeping Bush in office. Yeah yeah yeah. If everyone went by the theory that their 1 vote didn't matter then no one would vote. But the truth is, that's not going to happen. I could not vote and no one would know the difference. Maryland would still stay democratic and everyone's lives would go on.
I'll go to the DMV tomorrow and register. But I don't know if I'm still voting. How's the write in for Bruce Wayne sound? Or Jeb Bartlett? Or Bill Pullman from Independence Day.
Before some of you jump on me and stab me with your Obama pins, I challenge most people to actually know who they're voting for before they vote for them. I'm all for universal health care, but money doesn't appear out of no where. Where's it come from? The upper class tax cuts? What's that mean? I have yet to hear someone explain to me, or any media station, HOW anyone will fix the economy. I watched about half an hour of tonight's debate before both my mom and I were like, ok they're both done saying new things, let's watch House.
Putting policy aside, I think Obama is a better candidate for our country in terms of confidence. America needs someone to be confident in before anything else. We need a reason to buy a Ford and stop buying Chinese stock. I think people will rally around Obama sooner than they will rally around Mcain. Does that mean one is a better leader than the other? I don't know.
Then when you look at the VP race...well, all goes out the window. Biden is a solid candidate who can't get a sentence out and Palin can't finish a sentence without winking. And you really have to picture either of them as President. Mcain is 72 and I'll be the first to say it, Obama is black. Both of them are just as likely, in my mind, to not finish out their presidency. Do you want 4 years of Biden/Pelosi? Palin/Pelosi? I think the latter has a nice ring to it, just for comedy's sake.
Either way, I have until next Tuesday to register to vote. I'm not registered, nope. Didn't vote last election, so I guess you can blame me for single handedly keeping Bush in office. Yeah yeah yeah. If everyone went by the theory that their 1 vote didn't matter then no one would vote. But the truth is, that's not going to happen. I could not vote and no one would know the difference. Maryland would still stay democratic and everyone's lives would go on.
I'll go to the DMV tomorrow and register. But I don't know if I'm still voting. How's the write in for Bruce Wayne sound? Or Jeb Bartlett? Or Bill Pullman from Independence Day.
There's only 1 October
Today is a day that I will break boundaries. I, Asher Novek, am blogging from a bus. That's right, I'm on a bus, online, also playing online poker, and posting on my blog. Technology is such that busses now come fully equipped with Wifi. And very comfortable leather seats.
But I'm not here to promote the Bolt Bus (service to DC for under 20 dollars!). I'm not really sure why I'm here, but in the mean time, I'll just update a bit on what's going on.
Most important, I have moved back up to New York. I moved up because I had a really cheap apartment opportunity and a couple of job offer. Within 3 days of moving up to NY, I lost all of them.
There was some miscommunication between the landlord and the other room mates. Here's how the conversation went down
Me: Hi, I'm Asher, I'm going to be living here now.
Tony (old and Italian): You can't live here.
Me: What? Rachel's been talking to you for weeks about me coming here...
Tony: No.
Me: Um, her dad talked to you last week about this...
Tony: No.
Me: I'm sorry, is there something you want me to do?
Tony: No.
Me: Do you want me to run a credit check?
Tony: No.
Me: Raise the rent?
Tony: No.
Me: Any reason at all why you're saying no?
Tony: No.
So I spent the next few days scrambling for a place and luck would have it that Brandon has an extra room, sort of. So I've moved in to his dining room, which ironically has more space than the other room I would be living in, and will be paying the same for rent. Plus, he brought up his old Super Nintendo, and we're going through all the classics. Donkey Kong Country is up now, Mario next.
Job wise, I was going to go back and work with Ed over at Technicolor, but because of a looming actor's strike they've had to cut back on personelle because no one's shooting features right now. So I'm sort of hanging out, waiting for them to get work in for me to help them out on.
Basically, I'm just living in NY, earning my keep playing poker online and as Dustin always tells me, just living the American dream.
I have October fully paid for and I still have money left for food, so I'll explore some more employment opportunities and enjoy NY. The way I see if, I worked for 16 years of my life, and really worked my ass off the final 2 years of college, so a few months of lounging is ok. Plus, Brandon and I are making each other write, so I'm not being completely useless.
So for now, I'm grinding the 6.50 Turbos on Full Tilt, writing my screenplay and waiting to hear about my grants.
Ta for now, and have an easy Yom Kippur
But I'm not here to promote the Bolt Bus (service to DC for under 20 dollars!). I'm not really sure why I'm here, but in the mean time, I'll just update a bit on what's going on.
Most important, I have moved back up to New York. I moved up because I had a really cheap apartment opportunity and a couple of job offer. Within 3 days of moving up to NY, I lost all of them.
There was some miscommunication between the landlord and the other room mates. Here's how the conversation went down
Me: Hi, I'm Asher, I'm going to be living here now.
Tony (old and Italian): You can't live here.
Me: What? Rachel's been talking to you for weeks about me coming here...
Tony: No.
Me: Um, her dad talked to you last week about this...
Tony: No.
Me: I'm sorry, is there something you want me to do?
Tony: No.
Me: Do you want me to run a credit check?
Tony: No.
Me: Raise the rent?
Tony: No.
Me: Any reason at all why you're saying no?
Tony: No.
So I spent the next few days scrambling for a place and luck would have it that Brandon has an extra room, sort of. So I've moved in to his dining room, which ironically has more space than the other room I would be living in, and will be paying the same for rent. Plus, he brought up his old Super Nintendo, and we're going through all the classics. Donkey Kong Country is up now, Mario next.
Job wise, I was going to go back and work with Ed over at Technicolor, but because of a looming actor's strike they've had to cut back on personelle because no one's shooting features right now. So I'm sort of hanging out, waiting for them to get work in for me to help them out on.
Basically, I'm just living in NY, earning my keep playing poker online and as Dustin always tells me, just living the American dream.
I have October fully paid for and I still have money left for food, so I'll explore some more employment opportunities and enjoy NY. The way I see if, I worked for 16 years of my life, and really worked my ass off the final 2 years of college, so a few months of lounging is ok. Plus, Brandon and I are making each other write, so I'm not being completely useless.
So for now, I'm grinding the 6.50 Turbos on Full Tilt, writing my screenplay and waiting to hear about my grants.
Ta for now, and have an easy Yom Kippur
9.25.2008
Does a movie need to be French to be done well?
A few months ago I talked about how much I love French film. A few days ago I saw "Tell No One" and am now questioning my ability to make films on account of my lack of being French.
"Tell No One" is as such: Man and woman go to their child hood make out spot by a lake. She swims back to land, we hear a scream and the man rushes to shore. As soon as he gets there BAM, knocked out cold and falls into the water. Fade in 8 years later, and after a little exposition, he gets home on the 8th year anniversary of his wife's death to find an e-mail. He opens the email and it links him to a streaming video where his wife walks into view, looks up at the camera and walks off.
Then it goes from there. Hooked? You will be. This film is one of those movies that just builds and builds with mystery and just has you wondering, "will the ending be satisfying enough for all this set up?" Oh yeah. Possibly the most satisfied I've ever been by the end of a movie.
It's quite stunning how this movie leaves you. I even almost got a little teary eyed. The best advice I can give you is to not research this movie more than I've already told you. Knowing less will just make this experience that much better.
God speed
"Tell No One" is as such: Man and woman go to their child hood make out spot by a lake. She swims back to land, we hear a scream and the man rushes to shore. As soon as he gets there BAM, knocked out cold and falls into the water. Fade in 8 years later, and after a little exposition, he gets home on the 8th year anniversary of his wife's death to find an e-mail. He opens the email and it links him to a streaming video where his wife walks into view, looks up at the camera and walks off.
Then it goes from there. Hooked? You will be. This film is one of those movies that just builds and builds with mystery and just has you wondering, "will the ending be satisfying enough for all this set up?" Oh yeah. Possibly the most satisfied I've ever been by the end of a movie.
It's quite stunning how this movie leaves you. I even almost got a little teary eyed. The best advice I can give you is to not research this movie more than I've already told you. Knowing less will just make this experience that much better.
God speed
9.11.2008
I Need Someone to tell me if Revolver is a good movie
Ok, so I just watched Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" for a second time.
I can still remember my exact feelings after seeing it for a first time. I saw it alone, expecting to go into the theater for a normal Guy Ritchie movie, you know, shoot em up, cool gangster movie. Then I noticed that Luc Besson had his hands in it, produced and "adapted by" credits, and I was like, awesome, with cool French stylings.
After I saw it, my exact reaction was, "huh." It basically has all the makings of a Ritchie movie, gangsters, cons, Jason Statham, but with a cool existential twist. It focuses a lot more on what a con is, what power is, what fear is, what con-men mentality is and how it all percolates around in our heads. It's really really internal, but I don't know if it's good.
It's fun, it's unusual, it plays a lot with time and what we perceive. I'm just not sure if it's...good. I can't really tell if I'm impressed with the concept of getting into the mind of a con man, or with the entire movie. Ritchie does a lot of really cool things with form and sound that I picked up on this 2nd time around, and he does a lot of his own fun things with slow motion and voiceover, but I think it all makes sense and plays into the theme. I think.
So if anyone would do me the favor, watch it and tell me what you think. I have it on my computer if anyone wants to watch it or wants a copy
I can still remember my exact feelings after seeing it for a first time. I saw it alone, expecting to go into the theater for a normal Guy Ritchie movie, you know, shoot em up, cool gangster movie. Then I noticed that Luc Besson had his hands in it, produced and "adapted by" credits, and I was like, awesome, with cool French stylings.
After I saw it, my exact reaction was, "huh." It basically has all the makings of a Ritchie movie, gangsters, cons, Jason Statham, but with a cool existential twist. It focuses a lot more on what a con is, what power is, what fear is, what con-men mentality is and how it all percolates around in our heads. It's really really internal, but I don't know if it's good.
It's fun, it's unusual, it plays a lot with time and what we perceive. I'm just not sure if it's...good. I can't really tell if I'm impressed with the concept of getting into the mind of a con man, or with the entire movie. Ritchie does a lot of really cool things with form and sound that I picked up on this 2nd time around, and he does a lot of his own fun things with slow motion and voiceover, but I think it all makes sense and plays into the theme. I think.
So if anyone would do me the favor, watch it and tell me what you think. I have it on my computer if anyone wants to watch it or wants a copy
8.29.2008
How To Be A Good Diner
As some of you know, I currently work in a restaurant, and have worked in some form of service industry since I was 15. There are some things most people know about being a customer in a restaurant, but since most people in the world have not worked in some form of service industry, I want to empart upon you some tips. Here are some do's and don'ts that you might not really know about.
#1 - Tipping on a reduced check: Alright you pennypinchers, for those of you who can't afford things at 100% cost and use coupons, or those of you that complain enough to get a meal comped or some % off, what do you do when you tip the waiter? Say you had a 100 dollar meal and a 50 dollar gift certificate. Your waiter was fine, you think 15% is fine, so you tip...$7.50? Incorrect. Tip your waiter on the ORIGINAL bill. If I serve you 100 dollars worth of food, you should tip me on 100 dollars. Your waiter didn't give you 50% of his time, don't give him 50% of his tip.
I had a couple just this afternoon, each ordered a glass of wine, entree, very pleasant. They each had a 20 dollar coupon, so their 45 dollar meal came out to around $4.50. They left $6 dollars and left. To them I'm sure they thought they left a nice 30% tip. But in actuality, they left a 3% tip. Thanks for that ladies. Please never come back again.
#2 - Remember a % is a %, not a #: So this old adage of tipping %15 is a nice bar, but it's really a suggestion. You have to keep perspective about your bill, the amount of work the waiter does, how big a restaurant it is and how much of a pain in the ass you've been. Also, PLEASE don't be a smug tipper. If you go into a late night diner, say you're on a date and you order a couple of shakes and an order of fries. A $16 dollar bill, say you want to be impressive in front of your girl and leave a $20. Wow, look at you, that's a 25% tip. I tell you what, your date might be impressed, but the waiter or waitress just got $4 dollars. In reality, that's still $4. If you want to really leave a nice tip, think about quantitative numbers.
General rule of thumb I use, if it's just me at a diner and I want to be a nice person, I leave tips in 8-12 dollar increments. Regardless of your bill, keep in mind how much you're actually leaving.
On that same note, if there's 4 of you and you're in a nice place and you've been hanging around for an hour or so, tip well based on %s, not #s. $20 dollars may seem like a nice tip, but not when you've racked up a $140 bill and your waiter has prepared a nice birthday cake presentation and didn't get anything wrong.
#3 - Are you a person? So am I!: This one is sort of obvious, but you gotta remember it. Waiter, bus boys, hostesses, cooks, managers are all people. They have legs, eyes, ears just like you do. The bus boys have 2 hands and they aren't super heroes. They can only hold so much at once. Waiters have brains just like you do, we can forget things. I'm sure you've forgotten something before, so if your waiter forgets the ketchup or a refill of something, don't yell at them. Don't bring the manager over unless service was terrible. If the food was wrong, cold, had a hair in it and gave you food poisoning while in the restaurant, then complain. If you come during what appears to be a dinner rush and you feel like food is taking a while to get to your table...don't ask for 15% off.
#4 - Watch "Waiting": While it's not a perfect movie, and while I may love it more because of Ryan Reynolds, it is a great movie that gets some of the mentality about working in a restaurant. Take this movie into perspective. It's a comedy. It's surely based on true events. All of those characters, the principles and the customers, are all real and all exist.
These are just some things to keep in mind when dining. Nothing is set in stone. Each time you go out will be different. But keep some of these in the back of your head. For your sake and ours.
#1 - Tipping on a reduced check: Alright you pennypinchers, for those of you who can't afford things at 100% cost and use coupons, or those of you that complain enough to get a meal comped or some % off, what do you do when you tip the waiter? Say you had a 100 dollar meal and a 50 dollar gift certificate. Your waiter was fine, you think 15% is fine, so you tip...$7.50? Incorrect. Tip your waiter on the ORIGINAL bill. If I serve you 100 dollars worth of food, you should tip me on 100 dollars. Your waiter didn't give you 50% of his time, don't give him 50% of his tip.
I had a couple just this afternoon, each ordered a glass of wine, entree, very pleasant. They each had a 20 dollar coupon, so their 45 dollar meal came out to around $4.50. They left $6 dollars and left. To them I'm sure they thought they left a nice 30% tip. But in actuality, they left a 3% tip. Thanks for that ladies. Please never come back again.
#2 - Remember a % is a %, not a #: So this old adage of tipping %15 is a nice bar, but it's really a suggestion. You have to keep perspective about your bill, the amount of work the waiter does, how big a restaurant it is and how much of a pain in the ass you've been. Also, PLEASE don't be a smug tipper. If you go into a late night diner, say you're on a date and you order a couple of shakes and an order of fries. A $16 dollar bill, say you want to be impressive in front of your girl and leave a $20. Wow, look at you, that's a 25% tip. I tell you what, your date might be impressed, but the waiter or waitress just got $4 dollars. In reality, that's still $4. If you want to really leave a nice tip, think about quantitative numbers.
General rule of thumb I use, if it's just me at a diner and I want to be a nice person, I leave tips in 8-12 dollar increments. Regardless of your bill, keep in mind how much you're actually leaving.
On that same note, if there's 4 of you and you're in a nice place and you've been hanging around for an hour or so, tip well based on %s, not #s. $20 dollars may seem like a nice tip, but not when you've racked up a $140 bill and your waiter has prepared a nice birthday cake presentation and didn't get anything wrong.
#3 - Are you a person? So am I!: This one is sort of obvious, but you gotta remember it. Waiter, bus boys, hostesses, cooks, managers are all people. They have legs, eyes, ears just like you do. The bus boys have 2 hands and they aren't super heroes. They can only hold so much at once. Waiters have brains just like you do, we can forget things. I'm sure you've forgotten something before, so if your waiter forgets the ketchup or a refill of something, don't yell at them. Don't bring the manager over unless service was terrible. If the food was wrong, cold, had a hair in it and gave you food poisoning while in the restaurant, then complain. If you come during what appears to be a dinner rush and you feel like food is taking a while to get to your table...don't ask for 15% off.
#4 - Watch "Waiting": While it's not a perfect movie, and while I may love it more because of Ryan Reynolds, it is a great movie that gets some of the mentality about working in a restaurant. Take this movie into perspective. It's a comedy. It's surely based on true events. All of those characters, the principles and the customers, are all real and all exist.
These are just some things to keep in mind when dining. Nothing is set in stone. Each time you go out will be different. But keep some of these in the back of your head. For your sake and ours.
8.27.2008
Aussie Green
(Note: I actually wrote this while in Sydney, right after I went through this art piece)
So one thing that we got to doing in Sydney was see an art installation in the Opera House. I'll try and relive the experience best as I can for you, but it was quite unique.
You walk in to the main concert hall and it's pitch black. There's a soft mist and some warm moving glows. I switched on the little miner's light I was given and I walked in to the jungle of Sydney. The entire lower levels and stage area were taken over by trees and plants and fog machines. I just sort of walked around through the paths, up and down the stairs and through the aisles. All around you is plant life ranging from shrubs to ferns and trees. You can't really see anyone around you because everyone has a little light around their face and it's too dark to focus on anyone's particular face. So you're basically just walking around with faceless people all around you through paths of overwhelming trees. The initial reaction I had was, wow this is a lot of shrubbery to put into a theater. Then I let it sort of take over me and let the senses kick in. Touching the trees and plants, becoming a part of the installation as opposed to just viewing it. Taking in a soft music from a guitarist somewhere around. It was sort of humbling, almost like walking through a faux-jungle. But the mystique and serenity sort of morphed.
Then I started thinking about it on a different level. What was the point? Maybe the point, at least what I initially got out of it, was to show off the base, animalistic center we are all akin to. In the middle of everything commercial, everything huge and loud, is a soft forest. In the middle of the every day hustle and bustle, there is a calming tree and fog. I let that feeling sink in for a bit. Then I realized that I hated the term "hustle and bustle" and that this seemed like a pretty on the nose way of going about it. I have no idea what the intention of this experimental artist was, but I started looking at something new. I noticed a few things.
First there was a moment where I saw a guy emerge from what looked like a cool hidden passageway. I looked down, ready to embark and he caught me and said, "that's not a normal path. Sorry." Then there were the few camera men around I presume taking in people's expressions and what not for a DVD of some sort. These weren't really reminders to me that I wasn't actually in a jungle, I'm not really that shallow to say that I got so entrapped that I was pulled out by a guy with a camera. But it made me realize that we can't recreate everything. We can't recreate what a jungle is actually like, all we can do is make artist's interpretations.
Earlier on my trip I swam in the Great Barrier Reef and touched a turtle. You can't recreate that. There are always going to be some things in nature that man can't remake. We can describe them and explain them and tell stories about them and document them and take pictures of them, but we'll never actually be able to create what nature can. And that, to me, proves that there is some sort of greater power out there making things that we just can't. Man can create amazing architecture and amazing advances in medicine, but we can't accurately create a jungle. We can't create experiences of nature, as much as we try. And that's what I left the Forest with. A sense of humility that I felt when I got out of the water after being feet away from sharks. A sense that there are things in this world that man will never be able to comprehend or make or control. I kind of like that feeling.
So one thing that we got to doing in Sydney was see an art installation in the Opera House. I'll try and relive the experience best as I can for you, but it was quite unique.
You walk in to the main concert hall and it's pitch black. There's a soft mist and some warm moving glows. I switched on the little miner's light I was given and I walked in to the jungle of Sydney. The entire lower levels and stage area were taken over by trees and plants and fog machines. I just sort of walked around through the paths, up and down the stairs and through the aisles. All around you is plant life ranging from shrubs to ferns and trees. You can't really see anyone around you because everyone has a little light around their face and it's too dark to focus on anyone's particular face. So you're basically just walking around with faceless people all around you through paths of overwhelming trees. The initial reaction I had was, wow this is a lot of shrubbery to put into a theater. Then I let it sort of take over me and let the senses kick in. Touching the trees and plants, becoming a part of the installation as opposed to just viewing it. Taking in a soft music from a guitarist somewhere around. It was sort of humbling, almost like walking through a faux-jungle. But the mystique and serenity sort of morphed.
Then I started thinking about it on a different level. What was the point? Maybe the point, at least what I initially got out of it, was to show off the base, animalistic center we are all akin to. In the middle of everything commercial, everything huge and loud, is a soft forest. In the middle of the every day hustle and bustle, there is a calming tree and fog. I let that feeling sink in for a bit. Then I realized that I hated the term "hustle and bustle" and that this seemed like a pretty on the nose way of going about it. I have no idea what the intention of this experimental artist was, but I started looking at something new. I noticed a few things.
First there was a moment where I saw a guy emerge from what looked like a cool hidden passageway. I looked down, ready to embark and he caught me and said, "that's not a normal path. Sorry." Then there were the few camera men around I presume taking in people's expressions and what not for a DVD of some sort. These weren't really reminders to me that I wasn't actually in a jungle, I'm not really that shallow to say that I got so entrapped that I was pulled out by a guy with a camera. But it made me realize that we can't recreate everything. We can't recreate what a jungle is actually like, all we can do is make artist's interpretations.
Earlier on my trip I swam in the Great Barrier Reef and touched a turtle. You can't recreate that. There are always going to be some things in nature that man can't remake. We can describe them and explain them and tell stories about them and document them and take pictures of them, but we'll never actually be able to create what nature can. And that, to me, proves that there is some sort of greater power out there making things that we just can't. Man can create amazing architecture and amazing advances in medicine, but we can't accurately create a jungle. We can't create experiences of nature, as much as we try. And that's what I left the Forest with. A sense of humility that I felt when I got out of the water after being feet away from sharks. A sense that there are things in this world that man will never be able to comprehend or make or control. I kind of like that feeling.
8.05.2008
Larke Inspired
So for those of you who don't read Larke's blog, she discussed a recent Obama ad and how smug it is. I'm not going to get into how smug it is, because I think she hit the ball on the nose.
What I would like to point out is its similarity to another series of ads.
vs.
So this November, remember to vote Pepto.
And for the record, I think pretty much every campaign ad I've ever seen has been terrible and made me never want to vote for that person, Republican or Democrat.
20 dollars to anyone who can present to me one that doesn't make me want to flee the country.
What I would like to point out is its similarity to another series of ads.
vs.
So this November, remember to vote Pepto.
And for the record, I think pretty much every campaign ad I've ever seen has been terrible and made me never want to vote for that person, Republican or Democrat.
20 dollars to anyone who can present to me one that doesn't make me want to flee the country.
8.02.2008
One more update? Why not
How bout an update about me? Sure. I've started a job working as a waiter again at Timpanos. Timpanos Chop Shop and Sea Food Grill and Martini Bar. Lots of expensive steaks and wines and martinis. I should be making decent money once I get out of training and people get back from vacations and such. We'll see. So far it doesn't suck, so that's pretty much a plus.
Let's see, what else. I've been running well playing poker, except for tonight, but that's ok. It's all about managing your swings and getting your money in when it's good. After that, it's not up to you, it's up to the poker gods. Or the Full Tilt gods. Whoever you pray to.
The next few weeks are going to be exciting. The Mummy 3, Pineapple Express...Dark Knight again...could be good.
I started writing again, or, I started to buy books as research for what I want to write next. Almost done with character work and the basic outline. Should be able to get a solid beat outline soon. And I have a couple 600 page books to read. Hooray. Now, to find some time to read them.
Till then, keep it real
Let's see, what else. I've been running well playing poker, except for tonight, but that's ok. It's all about managing your swings and getting your money in when it's good. After that, it's not up to you, it's up to the poker gods. Or the Full Tilt gods. Whoever you pray to.
The next few weeks are going to be exciting. The Mummy 3, Pineapple Express...Dark Knight again...could be good.
I started writing again, or, I started to buy books as research for what I want to write next. Almost done with character work and the basic outline. Should be able to get a solid beat outline soon. And I have a couple 600 page books to read. Hooray. Now, to find some time to read them.
Till then, keep it real
Underrated Burma
I'm not going to get into a huge thing about the Dark Knight. Mainly because my feelings about it should be pretty obvious, and I don't want to let my inner fan boy erupt on my blog. So what I'll do is just quote what I feel will become the most underrated monologue in movies:
Alfred: A long time ago I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of local leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months we never met anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce: So why steal them?
Alfred: Well because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical. Like money. They cant be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Then, after a lot of things happen and explode:
Bruce: That bandit, did you ever catch him?
Alfred: Yes.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down
Alfred: A long time ago I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of local leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months we never met anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce: So why steal them?
Alfred: Well because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical. Like money. They cant be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Then, after a lot of things happen and explode:
Bruce: That bandit, did you ever catch him?
Alfred: Yes.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down
What Do Ya Say Before Ya Say G'Day?
G'Day! Is the answer. Now just imagine some very basic and not great folk guitar around that. And repeat about 40 times. There you go. Now you have Jonah and my favorite song from Australia. Sung by some weird drunk guy at the BBQ area of our hotel/lodge area in Ayres Rock. He was priceless, as was his song, "G'Day!".
I think the last time I left off, we were leaving the exotic island of Tahiti and traveling West. Here's an interesting tidbit -- we left Tahiti on Wednesday, July 21st at around midnight, and arrived in Sydney at 10am, Friday morning. Where'd Thursday go? It went to the wayside of the International Dateline. No July 22nd for me. It's ok, I'd get another day later, don't worry.
First thing we get to once in the airport is a terminal area, basic shops and such. Then I see a "Hungry Jacks". Upon further investigation I find that Hungry Jacks is actually Burger King, but Aussie style. And by Aussie style I mean, well, it's just called Hungry Jacks. I'll let you see the comparison:
After some investigation, Jonah wound find out that before Burger King came along, there was already a place in Australia called the Burger King, so they had to use a different name for copyright reasons. Way to go Burger King for being the bigger man and not buying them out. Or way to get Aussie Burger King for not selling out. Either way, now we get Hungry Jacks.
Well we weren't in Sydney long, as we were just transfering planes to Cairnes. We went from one aquatic town to another.
Cairnes is basically a surfing beach bum town, but it had a nice vibe to it. It's possible I was so jet lagged that everyone just seemed really chill, but I think it was a real vibe. We weren't really there for the town anyway. We were there for the reef. Swimming in the Great Barrier Reed has always been one of my life goals. Didn't really disappoint.
Getting sea sick out to the reef was great too. As many ginger pills as I could swallow didn't really help too much. But once we settled down and reached out dock, pier thing, I was gravy. As opposed to the Tahitian method of just jumping in, here we had instructions as how to put on a vest, how to use the snorkel, etc. Felt a little better about jumping in this time. Now, the hardest part about writing about things like this is trying to explain what it was like objectively versus fantastically.
So - In my mind - I swam around in the middle of the ocean, fish around me. I saw deep past the reef and into the deep ocean. I felt completely in control of myself while being completely submerged into something that had complete control over me.
Reality - Swam in a sectioned off area with life guards on duty and a life vest in about 15-20 foot deep water.
In my mind - I took part in this sea walk thing in which I walked on the floor of the ocean around hundreds of fish and turtles. I touched and fed beautiful schools of fish that seemed from the prehistoric era. Seeing some of these creatures literally up close and personally really makes you think about evolution and where we all came from.
Reality - I was hooked up to this astronaut type machine that made it impossible for me to not breathe while people around me fed these fish to keep them around me.
For the record, I enjoy my imagination a lot more. So let's just ignore reality for a while and see just what I did --
After some more snorkeling, we headed back.
The next day we went from the water element to the forest element. We took a cable car tour type thing over a rainforest, and ended up in an Aboriginal village, complete with semi-keetchy tour. It was actually very interesting being around actual indigenous people, not just Disney style tour guides. Here, I also learned that I am a fantastic boomerang-ist. So good in fact, that I got to keep my boomerang. I read that there's a boomerang association and they have a headquarters in DC. You can certainly bet they'll be receiving a call from me.
After all the water and forest we could handle, it was on to the next element - land/rock/sand.
Ayres Rock. We went from the oceans to smack dab in the middle of the desert. Literally. Ayres Rock is pretty much just a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. It's a huge, gorgeous red rock in the middle of nowhere.
It's quite amazing out there. If you ever travel down to Australia, I would recommend making the trip out there. It may just seem like a huge rock, but it's...well, a really big rock. There's also a lot of interesting vegetation and animal life that lives in conditions that you really wouldn't think support life.
While there we took a star gazing tour. Some of you may or may not know me well enough to know I'm sort of a space nerd, so this way pretty amazing for me. To say that I saw a lot of stars is sort of understating things. Coming from NY, where you can sometimes make out the moon through the smog, and Maryland where you can be lucky to see Venus, finally seeing stars was great. But not just the stars I'm used to. Southern Hemisphere stars, of which there are apparently a lot more. Who takes the time to count them all, I don't know, but I do know I've seen more than you (unless you're Yorrick and you live in Australia). Through telescopes we also got to see Mars (which I pointed out to my parents before the guide did), Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, Saturn really does have rings.
I'll leave you for now with one of my new all time favorite pictures from Ayres Rock.
Ta
I think the last time I left off, we were leaving the exotic island of Tahiti and traveling West. Here's an interesting tidbit -- we left Tahiti on Wednesday, July 21st at around midnight, and arrived in Sydney at 10am, Friday morning. Where'd Thursday go? It went to the wayside of the International Dateline. No July 22nd for me. It's ok, I'd get another day later, don't worry.
First thing we get to once in the airport is a terminal area, basic shops and such. Then I see a "Hungry Jacks". Upon further investigation I find that Hungry Jacks is actually Burger King, but Aussie style. And by Aussie style I mean, well, it's just called Hungry Jacks. I'll let you see the comparison:
After some investigation, Jonah wound find out that before Burger King came along, there was already a place in Australia called the Burger King, so they had to use a different name for copyright reasons. Way to go Burger King for being the bigger man and not buying them out. Or way to get Aussie Burger King for not selling out. Either way, now we get Hungry Jacks.
Well we weren't in Sydney long, as we were just transfering planes to Cairnes. We went from one aquatic town to another.
Cairnes is basically a surfing beach bum town, but it had a nice vibe to it. It's possible I was so jet lagged that everyone just seemed really chill, but I think it was a real vibe. We weren't really there for the town anyway. We were there for the reef. Swimming in the Great Barrier Reed has always been one of my life goals. Didn't really disappoint.
Getting sea sick out to the reef was great too. As many ginger pills as I could swallow didn't really help too much. But once we settled down and reached out dock, pier thing, I was gravy. As opposed to the Tahitian method of just jumping in, here we had instructions as how to put on a vest, how to use the snorkel, etc. Felt a little better about jumping in this time. Now, the hardest part about writing about things like this is trying to explain what it was like objectively versus fantastically.
So - In my mind - I swam around in the middle of the ocean, fish around me. I saw deep past the reef and into the deep ocean. I felt completely in control of myself while being completely submerged into something that had complete control over me.
Reality - Swam in a sectioned off area with life guards on duty and a life vest in about 15-20 foot deep water.
In my mind - I took part in this sea walk thing in which I walked on the floor of the ocean around hundreds of fish and turtles. I touched and fed beautiful schools of fish that seemed from the prehistoric era. Seeing some of these creatures literally up close and personally really makes you think about evolution and where we all came from.
Reality - I was hooked up to this astronaut type machine that made it impossible for me to not breathe while people around me fed these fish to keep them around me.
For the record, I enjoy my imagination a lot more. So let's just ignore reality for a while and see just what I did --
After some more snorkeling, we headed back.
The next day we went from the water element to the forest element. We took a cable car tour type thing over a rainforest, and ended up in an Aboriginal village, complete with semi-keetchy tour. It was actually very interesting being around actual indigenous people, not just Disney style tour guides. Here, I also learned that I am a fantastic boomerang-ist. So good in fact, that I got to keep my boomerang. I read that there's a boomerang association and they have a headquarters in DC. You can certainly bet they'll be receiving a call from me.
After all the water and forest we could handle, it was on to the next element - land/rock/sand.
Ayres Rock. We went from the oceans to smack dab in the middle of the desert. Literally. Ayres Rock is pretty much just a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. It's a huge, gorgeous red rock in the middle of nowhere.
It's quite amazing out there. If you ever travel down to Australia, I would recommend making the trip out there. It may just seem like a huge rock, but it's...well, a really big rock. There's also a lot of interesting vegetation and animal life that lives in conditions that you really wouldn't think support life.
While there we took a star gazing tour. Some of you may or may not know me well enough to know I'm sort of a space nerd, so this way pretty amazing for me. To say that I saw a lot of stars is sort of understating things. Coming from NY, where you can sometimes make out the moon through the smog, and Maryland where you can be lucky to see Venus, finally seeing stars was great. But not just the stars I'm used to. Southern Hemisphere stars, of which there are apparently a lot more. Who takes the time to count them all, I don't know, but I do know I've seen more than you (unless you're Yorrick and you live in Australia). Through telescopes we also got to see Mars (which I pointed out to my parents before the guide did), Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, Saturn really does have rings.
I'll leave you for now with one of my new all time favorite pictures from Ayres Rock.
Ta
7.21.2008
In Which I'm Selling Off All My Possessions
I figure that while I get my trip posts out, I'll get some up to date ones as well. Damn backlogging.
Anyway. I recently (two days ago) sold my iPod. I sold my iPod for a couple reasons. Mainly that I don't really listen to anything anymore now that I'm home. I don't need to walk anywhere and I don't have the jogging while iPodding thing down, so I decided to just sell the thing. I thought about buying a new, smaller one with the money and then realized - what the hell do I need an iPod for? Then I thought, "is this me selling off everything I own before I leave the country, wherever I go?" Then I wondered, "do people do that?"
So I don't think I'll be the person that comes back from a life changing experience and sells everything he owns...I think I'll sell everything I own before I leave. Not really sure what that means, but it may happen. Next item up for debate - my PS2. Big, big, big decision there.
Anyway. I recently (two days ago) sold my iPod. I sold my iPod for a couple reasons. Mainly that I don't really listen to anything anymore now that I'm home. I don't need to walk anywhere and I don't have the jogging while iPodding thing down, so I decided to just sell the thing. I thought about buying a new, smaller one with the money and then realized - what the hell do I need an iPod for? Then I thought, "is this me selling off everything I own before I leave the country, wherever I go?" Then I wondered, "do people do that?"
So I don't think I'll be the person that comes back from a life changing experience and sells everything he owns...I think I'll sell everything I own before I leave. Not really sure what that means, but it may happen. Next item up for debate - my PS2. Big, big, big decision there.
I Have Now Been to 3/4 Hemispheres
So apparently I went on this trip. Overall, outstanding trip. If you don't know me or my family at all, we take big trips. We've traveled all over the US, mainly the western parts - Arizona, Utah, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Montana, Colorado, etc. Usually national parks are the mainstays for us. Then we started traveling through Europe a few times. This trip was our most adventurous yet, going down under for three weeks. Because of the way the tickets worked out, according to my dad, we could have either stayed over in Tahiti or New Zealand for 5 days. After some debate, we chose the place with huts on the ocean as opposed to the hillsides of Hobbits.
For some perspective, here is the best map I could find of Tahiti's relation to the rest of the world --
As you may or may not be able to read (the resolution on the picture sucks, I'll try and find a better one), Tahiti is roughly 4100 miles from LA. That's an 8 hour flight from LA to Tahiti. Then, it's almost 3000ish miles to Sydney, another 6 hours. To say it's in the middle of nowhere is giving nowhere a lot of credit.
So we get to Tahiti, where the weather is 85 degrees and sunny everyday, and take our cab to our hotel/resort. Also, it should be known, we're not really resort people. We don't really just sit on the beach. We like to explore places as much as we can. But we quickly learned that Tahiti isn't really a place to sight see. It's a place to sit on the beach.
What I noticed about Tahiti is as such, for anyone who's thinking of visiting, or writing a middle school report about Tahiti. The economy of Tahiti is based on primarily 2 markets - tourism and produce. There's a huge wonderful market with fresh fish and fruit and chocolate and everything. Then there's all the tourism, the hotels, the taxis, the boat tours etc. There's no downtown, no nightlife, no malls, no clubs, no Target or real commercial center. There's one hospital and some schools, and a lot of construction, but that's really it. To display this in a microcosm, here is a public service job I found out about. The main road into town consists of 4 lanes divided by those little Jersey wall dividers. At normal hours of the day, it's 2 lanes both ways. But during rush hour, they make it 3 lanes with traffic. How? There's a man who gets into his little truck late at night and moves each divider over a lane. Then after rush hour he moves them back. Then back to 3 lanes the other way. Then back again. And so forth and so on. And that's his job. That's a job with shifts and management. That's what there is to do in Tahiti. Eat, fish, drive a taxi and move concrete from one side of the road to another. It may not sound like a lot, but it's life and they seem to have it down pretty well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the most interesting things that happened to us was going to synagouge on Saturday. Yes, there's a Jewish community in Tahiti. They have a shul. They meet every week. They have a Hebrew school. And we went there. It was interesting because it was a combination of French/Sefardi (non-European style of Judaism) and Orthodox. So men sat separately but it was very laid back. After the service we were invited to someones house for lunch where we were warmly greeted and I was served schnapps upon schnapps. How could I be so rude to not drink the whiskey the old man next to me kept pouring in my cup? Eventually he started pouring beer into my glass when it still had whiskey in it...so I had to monitor it a little more. Nevertheless, an interesting lunch.
One fun note - this synagouge would be the last synagouge in the world, so to speak. Tahiti is the closest land mass to the international date line. So in any given day, this would be the last Jewish community to celebrate a holiday. Just one fun and interesting play on time I got to have.
Also in Tahiti, I started my "Things I Never Thought I Would Do" list. This list was really kicked off when we went on a boat tour of the neighboring island, Mo'orea. We get on this boat that seats maybe 20 of us, mainly couples on their honeymoon and my family, and this very overly stereotyped island man gives us a little tour and such. Then they stop the boat about 100 feet or so from the shore and one of the guys jumps out and swims out with a rope. Then we get a little shpeil about swimming with the sharks. How they're real, don't kick them, and don't pee in the water. Then - go ahead, jump in.
Basically, that's it. Grab your goggles, jump in, grab the rope and pray. Now, I'm not an aquatic person by any real stretch of the imagination but I figured, what the hell.
Here you can see me and my extreme close proximity to the deadly super man eating shark --
In all reality, the sharks were being herded on the other side of the rope from us tourists, and I'm pretty sure I'd have to kick one pretty square in the jaw for it to become hostile...nevertheless, I swam with sharks. From there it was on to sting rays, which I can say are much more docile than sharks. Swimming with sting rays is sort of like getting into 4 foot deep water with giant bath toys that swim under your feet. They're not really slimey at all, rather smooth actually. But they still look so prehistoric and unreal that it's just trippy. Much like the sharks, they're constantly being fed so they literally just glide all around you. For the first 10 minutes or so all you could hear was the following --
Oh....Oh...AH! Ah...Aw...AH!...Ah...hahaha...AH!
Once you realize they are of little to no harm, they're really kind of cute. Once that got old we got back into the boat, did some more touring, ate some coconuts and went back ashore. Alive and with every limb we came out there with.
I don't want to say that swimming feet away from a shark changed my life, because I'm not that naive. I didn't go into the water one person and emerge a new person. I'm not that arrogant. But if you ever thought that I would say that I swam next to a shark, well, then you didn't know me very well. I think all that I gathered from all of this can be found in a conversation I had with my dad the day before we went. My dad, if you don't know, is worse than any Jewish mother you can imagine in terms of worrying.
Me: (Some joke about how my dad is a pansy about getting into the ocean with sharks)
Dad: You mean you're not scared at all?
Me: I'm terrified. The ocean scares the shit out of me.
Dad: Then why are you so excited?
Me: Because it scares the shit out of me.
Such was the beginning of my beginning to do new and weird things list. My basic rule of thumb throughout the trip was: will I be able to do this any time in the near future? No? Ok, sign me up.
That was basically it for Tahiti. Some more beaches and such and then we were off to Cairnes, via Sydney. More on that later.
Ta
For some perspective, here is the best map I could find of Tahiti's relation to the rest of the world --
As you may or may not be able to read (the resolution on the picture sucks, I'll try and find a better one), Tahiti is roughly 4100 miles from LA. That's an 8 hour flight from LA to Tahiti. Then, it's almost 3000ish miles to Sydney, another 6 hours. To say it's in the middle of nowhere is giving nowhere a lot of credit.
So we get to Tahiti, where the weather is 85 degrees and sunny everyday, and take our cab to our hotel/resort. Also, it should be known, we're not really resort people. We don't really just sit on the beach. We like to explore places as much as we can. But we quickly learned that Tahiti isn't really a place to sight see. It's a place to sit on the beach.
What I noticed about Tahiti is as such, for anyone who's thinking of visiting, or writing a middle school report about Tahiti. The economy of Tahiti is based on primarily 2 markets - tourism and produce. There's a huge wonderful market with fresh fish and fruit and chocolate and everything. Then there's all the tourism, the hotels, the taxis, the boat tours etc. There's no downtown, no nightlife, no malls, no clubs, no Target or real commercial center. There's one hospital and some schools, and a lot of construction, but that's really it. To display this in a microcosm, here is a public service job I found out about. The main road into town consists of 4 lanes divided by those little Jersey wall dividers. At normal hours of the day, it's 2 lanes both ways. But during rush hour, they make it 3 lanes with traffic. How? There's a man who gets into his little truck late at night and moves each divider over a lane. Then after rush hour he moves them back. Then back to 3 lanes the other way. Then back again. And so forth and so on. And that's his job. That's a job with shifts and management. That's what there is to do in Tahiti. Eat, fish, drive a taxi and move concrete from one side of the road to another. It may not sound like a lot, but it's life and they seem to have it down pretty well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the most interesting things that happened to us was going to synagouge on Saturday. Yes, there's a Jewish community in Tahiti. They have a shul. They meet every week. They have a Hebrew school. And we went there. It was interesting because it was a combination of French/Sefardi (non-European style of Judaism) and Orthodox. So men sat separately but it was very laid back. After the service we were invited to someones house for lunch where we were warmly greeted and I was served schnapps upon schnapps. How could I be so rude to not drink the whiskey the old man next to me kept pouring in my cup? Eventually he started pouring beer into my glass when it still had whiskey in it...so I had to monitor it a little more. Nevertheless, an interesting lunch.
One fun note - this synagouge would be the last synagouge in the world, so to speak. Tahiti is the closest land mass to the international date line. So in any given day, this would be the last Jewish community to celebrate a holiday. Just one fun and interesting play on time I got to have.
Also in Tahiti, I started my "Things I Never Thought I Would Do" list. This list was really kicked off when we went on a boat tour of the neighboring island, Mo'orea. We get on this boat that seats maybe 20 of us, mainly couples on their honeymoon and my family, and this very overly stereotyped island man gives us a little tour and such. Then they stop the boat about 100 feet or so from the shore and one of the guys jumps out and swims out with a rope. Then we get a little shpeil about swimming with the sharks. How they're real, don't kick them, and don't pee in the water. Then - go ahead, jump in.
Basically, that's it. Grab your goggles, jump in, grab the rope and pray. Now, I'm not an aquatic person by any real stretch of the imagination but I figured, what the hell.
Here you can see me and my extreme close proximity to the deadly super man eating shark --
In all reality, the sharks were being herded on the other side of the rope from us tourists, and I'm pretty sure I'd have to kick one pretty square in the jaw for it to become hostile...nevertheless, I swam with sharks. From there it was on to sting rays, which I can say are much more docile than sharks. Swimming with sting rays is sort of like getting into 4 foot deep water with giant bath toys that swim under your feet. They're not really slimey at all, rather smooth actually. But they still look so prehistoric and unreal that it's just trippy. Much like the sharks, they're constantly being fed so they literally just glide all around you. For the first 10 minutes or so all you could hear was the following --
Oh....Oh...AH! Ah...Aw...AH!...Ah...hahaha...AH!
Once you realize they are of little to no harm, they're really kind of cute. Once that got old we got back into the boat, did some more touring, ate some coconuts and went back ashore. Alive and with every limb we came out there with.
I don't want to say that swimming feet away from a shark changed my life, because I'm not that naive. I didn't go into the water one person and emerge a new person. I'm not that arrogant. But if you ever thought that I would say that I swam next to a shark, well, then you didn't know me very well. I think all that I gathered from all of this can be found in a conversation I had with my dad the day before we went. My dad, if you don't know, is worse than any Jewish mother you can imagine in terms of worrying.
Me: (Some joke about how my dad is a pansy about getting into the ocean with sharks)
Dad: You mean you're not scared at all?
Me: I'm terrified. The ocean scares the shit out of me.
Dad: Then why are you so excited?
Me: Because it scares the shit out of me.
Such was the beginning of my beginning to do new and weird things list. My basic rule of thumb throughout the trip was: will I be able to do this any time in the near future? No? Ok, sign me up.
That was basically it for Tahiti. Some more beaches and such and then we were off to Cairnes, via Sydney. More on that later.
Ta
7.13.2008
Back in an American time zone
So I'm back. I have a few big posts coming, filled with pictures and the like. But right now all my mind can muster is the following.
I was in Sydney on Saturday, July 11th at 11am. Then the plane left and we flew 3 hours to Aukland, where it was 4pm local time. Then we left at 5pm local time, and 12 hours later arrived in LAX at 11:00am, Saturday, July 11th.
There you have it folks.
I, Asher Novek, have traveled through time.
I was in Sydney on Saturday, July 11th at 11am. Then the plane left and we flew 3 hours to Aukland, where it was 4pm local time. Then we left at 5pm local time, and 12 hours later arrived in LAX at 11:00am, Saturday, July 11th.
There you have it folks.
I, Asher Novek, have traveled through time.
6.19.2008
Vacation
Tomorrow I'm off to Australia via Tahiti via LA. 1 day in LA, I think 4 days in Tahiti and then to Aussie.
Also, I placed 17th out of 1447 in a $10 tourney. That means in the past 48 hours I've gone from 40 dollars in my account to 183. Not a bad run. Too bad vaca will cool me down.
Well, ta for now. Back in 3 weeks. As Mike Sexton always says, "May your cards be live and your pots monsters"
Peace
Also, I placed 17th out of 1447 in a $10 tourney. That means in the past 48 hours I've gone from 40 dollars in my account to 183. Not a bad run. Too bad vaca will cool me down.
Well, ta for now. Back in 3 weeks. As Mike Sexton always says, "May your cards be live and your pots monsters"
Peace
6.17.2008
I can't believe I'm watching this, but...
"Cool as Ice" is a movie that needs to be seen by everyone. Right now. Mainly so I don't feel like the only person on Earth who's seen it. Lemme break it down for you.
This is the snippet that my DVR says: "Cool as Ice - Tepid biker-meets-girl tale starring rapper Vanilla Ice". Dude, for real. Made in 1991 and directed by a guy who was a Playboy photographer, here's the plot so far: Vanilla Ice and his motorcycle gang friends (3 overly stereotyped Black teenagers, to the point that I find it offensive) drive around and one of their bikes breaks down in this small town. Where Ice meets this girl, Kathy. He then proceeds to wow everyone, including her 10 year old younger brother, with his ability to rap, huge colorful parachute pants and yellow motorcycle. Currently on the screen is a montage of Ice and Kathy "dancing"/"playing"/"flirting" in an unbuilt housing construction site.
Seriously, this movie needs to be seen by everyone. There's also some sub plot going on where some gangsters want to kill or extort Kathy's dad. But they just kissed in a great 360 degree rotation shot. So that's not really important. Except I'm sure in the near future the subplot will come back and effect the plot in some fashion. But Kathy's kind of hot, Ice lost his shirt, and all I can wait for is another outfit for him to wear. I really want them to have sex just so he has to put another pair of pants on.
Just look at the poster, you'll see :
Please see this movie so you can talk about it with me. Or make a drinking game out of it with me. Or help me find it on DVD. Or help me write letters to make this a Criterion. Or to make me feel less like a loser.
This is the snippet that my DVR says: "Cool as Ice - Tepid biker-meets-girl tale starring rapper Vanilla Ice". Dude, for real. Made in 1991 and directed by a guy who was a Playboy photographer, here's the plot so far: Vanilla Ice and his motorcycle gang friends (3 overly stereotyped Black teenagers, to the point that I find it offensive) drive around and one of their bikes breaks down in this small town. Where Ice meets this girl, Kathy. He then proceeds to wow everyone, including her 10 year old younger brother, with his ability to rap, huge colorful parachute pants and yellow motorcycle. Currently on the screen is a montage of Ice and Kathy "dancing"/"playing"/"flirting" in an unbuilt housing construction site.
Seriously, this movie needs to be seen by everyone. There's also some sub plot going on where some gangsters want to kill or extort Kathy's dad. But they just kissed in a great 360 degree rotation shot. So that's not really important. Except I'm sure in the near future the subplot will come back and effect the plot in some fashion. But Kathy's kind of hot, Ice lost his shirt, and all I can wait for is another outfit for him to wear. I really want them to have sex just so he has to put another pair of pants on.
Just look at the poster, you'll see :
Please see this movie so you can talk about it with me. Or make a drinking game out of it with me. Or help me find it on DVD. Or help me write letters to make this a Criterion. Or to make me feel less like a loser.
6.16.2008
"Submit" became clickable
A couple things.
First, my facebook account has been locked or suspended, or whatever they do to facebook accounts. I'm not really sure why. I sent them a complaint a few days ago asking why my profile picture keeps getting smaller and smaller (anyone else notice this?) and I received this e-mail today:
Hi,
I would be happy to look into this matter further, however, Your account has been suspended because the information you provided indicated that you may be ineligible to use the site. Please reply to this email with the following information, and we will reevaluate your status:
-First Name
-Last Name
-Your Correct Birth date (month/day/year)
Once I have received this information, I will gladly reactivate your account for you and assist you with your original inquiry. Sorry for any inconvenience.
Thanks for your understanding,
Zoe
User Operations Analyst
Facebook
I'm not really sure what this is about. Maybe someone found my Conan pictures offensive? Maybe I've lost at Scrabble so many times I'm suspended? Who knows. Either way, all is not lost. I have a friend on the inside who will look into this for me. It pays to have friends in high places. Thanks Skip.
In real news, I submitted my proposal for a government grant tonight. I won't get in to many of the details, but suffice to say I've been spending the past few weeks working on it. Tonight the word "submit", which has been greyed out on the very old PC grant input system, finally became bold. It took me a few minutes to actually click on it. I hadn't realized it, but this has been why I haven't been able to sleep recently. At least, I hope it is so I can finally sleep again before my vacation. This is just one of those things that, if it happens, my life will be so completely different. And if it doesn't, well, then you move on to the next hand.
Because in the end, it's like the old sports adage, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it matters how you play the game."
I'll leave you with this:
First, my facebook account has been locked or suspended, or whatever they do to facebook accounts. I'm not really sure why. I sent them a complaint a few days ago asking why my profile picture keeps getting smaller and smaller (anyone else notice this?) and I received this e-mail today:
Hi,
I would be happy to look into this matter further, however, Your account has been suspended because the information you provided indicated that you may be ineligible to use the site. Please reply to this email with the following information, and we will reevaluate your status:
-First Name
-Last Name
-Your Correct Birth date (month/day/year)
Once I have received this information, I will gladly reactivate your account for you and assist you with your original inquiry. Sorry for any inconvenience.
Thanks for your understanding,
Zoe
User Operations Analyst
I'm not really sure what this is about. Maybe someone found my Conan pictures offensive? Maybe I've lost at Scrabble so many times I'm suspended? Who knows. Either way, all is not lost. I have a friend on the inside who will look into this for me. It pays to have friends in high places. Thanks Skip.
In real news, I submitted my proposal for a government grant tonight. I won't get in to many of the details, but suffice to say I've been spending the past few weeks working on it. Tonight the word "submit", which has been greyed out on the very old PC grant input system, finally became bold. It took me a few minutes to actually click on it. I hadn't realized it, but this has been why I haven't been able to sleep recently. At least, I hope it is so I can finally sleep again before my vacation. This is just one of those things that, if it happens, my life will be so completely different. And if it doesn't, well, then you move on to the next hand.
Because in the end, it's like the old sports adage, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it matters how you play the game."
I'll leave you with this:
6.14.2008
La Papillion
If you know me at all, or if you just read the prior post, you know I'm famous for always watching terrible, underthought, lacking movies. I'm here to report to you that I actually do have some taste, and I want to talk about one of the more fantastic films I have ever seen, "Le Scaphandre et la Papillion" or The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. The film tells the true life story about Jean-Do, a journalist who suffers a stroke and develops a rare disorder that destroys his ability to move anything except his eyes. The story told here is how he goes on his life and more incredibly how he dictates a novel.
The film is very stylistically French, and it works so well for this story. Most of the film is told through his point of view, including his blinks, his tears, any blurred vision. We don't actually see Jean for a good 15 minutes into the film. I don't need to get in to how the technique brings you in, that's fairly obvious. I want to talk about how moving and beautiful it was. I'm not an emotional person, but that's the only word I can think to describe what this film is. Emotion played out on film. There's fear, anger, frustration, love, happiness, success and by golly, you go up and down with every character in this damn film.
I'm rarely actually affected by a film. So I've thought back to the past few times a film has had a real affect on me and I've found a common thread. French films have a way of getting under my skin, as thick as it is. Papillion has nestled an immediate place inside of me, and not too long ago Jacque Tati's "Playtime" also became one of my favorite movies instantly. Then of course there's "Jules et Jim", "Rules of the Game" and I realized a few months ago, when I watched it again on the big screen with only myself, a friend and a teacher, Eternal Sunshine has a special place inside me as well. Now, there are a lot of French films I detest (Science of Sleep, this one about three people I saw with Brandon once, some others), but for some reason, sometimes, they get to me.
Don't let me fool you. I'm still the old, bitter, jaded man who will watch I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (yeah it's real, apparently). But if you want to try and evoke emotion out of me, do it in French.
6.13.2008
Some movies and some help
So I've been trying to figure out what to start writing, if anything. And I'm looking for inspiration in...well, the usual places. Here are a couple movies I've seen recently for the first time:
"Big Nothing" starring Simon Pegg and David Schwimmer. This was a very odd movie. It's basically about Pegg convincing Schwimmer to go along with him on a scheme to blackmail a priest for a boatload of money. Then a cute blond girl gets in on the deal. Then everything starts going wrong. They go to the priest's house and Pegg is held up at gun point, Schwimmer messed something up and gets to the house and sees the priest on the ground and with no signs of Pegg, drags him and dumps his body in a septic tank. Then it turns out he wasn't really dead, then they find more dirty secrets, then a cop shows up, then the girl shows up, etc etc etc. It's basically, what I like to call a snowball movie. There's no real plot per se, it just keeps escalating and moving along. It's all cause and effect. Much like movies I have made. In fact, this was so reminiscent of things I have done in the past, I even started to notice lines and jokes that I've used in scripts. I'm not sure if that says good things for me or bad things for this movie, or both. But it's pretty much the kind of movie you would expect a recent college graduate to make...if they could get Simon Pegg and David Schwimmer. It's actually an interesting role for Pegg, who's just a sleeze ball douchebag, and good at it. Either way, it's the perfect "if it's ok TV on a Saturday one afternoon I'll keep it on while I do something else" movie.
"Countdown" starring Tank Girl and the London brother that wasn't in Mallrats. Also, it was just on. It's about a 30 something white male, London, who threatens to blow up a large chunk of some city and Tank Girl, Lori something, is the edgy female cop who's going to take him down. I've started to really pick up on this one aspect of movies - whether they sound like movies or whether they sound like people. This sounded like a movie. It's something I was taught, subconsciously, but pick up on. Like a guy who's supposed to be a crazed, genius uni-bomber asking a cop "so what do you think love is", is just, well, a little...dumb. Don't see this movie, it's not even witty. Nor does it have Simon Pegg.
"Lucky Number Slevin" starring Josh Hartnett in a bathrobe, Bruce Willis is a miscast role, Ben Freaking Kingsley playing a rabbi and Morgan Freeman being evil. Nothing bad right? Eh...kind of. It's a pretty standard gangster type movie. Josh Hartnett gets mistaken for his friend and then has to kill someone and owes Kingsley a lot of money. Mobsters, guns, Lucy Liu for some reason, and eh I guess quirky clever dialogue. It's a lot of that for about 75 minutes. Then there's about 15 minutes of action. Then there's about 30 minutes of explaining this whole big twist. Basically, here's what probably happened: the writer said, I have this cool idea for a story but I want to seem really smart, so I'll just make everything in the entire movie seem like it was building up to this one twist. That's all it is. You can watch the last 25-30 minutes and get the same experience as watching the whole thing.
See, it's all about where you want to start your movie. Do you want to write it for a character? For a story? Or for one gimmick? Big Nothing seems like there was no goal in mind, like it was written on the fly, again, like I wrote. Slevin seems to be written just to seem smarter than it actually is. It reminded me some of Smokin Aces, in that there's no real reason for the plot to unfold until the last 10-15 minute "explanation" section of the movie. I'm not sure when that became part of the 3 act structure, but it should be removed fast. So I've looked over my list again and I'm still not sure which one I want to start. After relooking, I have one core thing I want to get at in each one...I think. Instead of picking numbers at random, which served its purpose of making me rethink all my ideas, I'll give a brief theme for each and then ask you, the reader, to see which one intrigues you the most.
1. Drama, character based, dark.
2. Horror, creepy.
3. Drug movie, NOT Requiem.
4. Romantic comedy, my way.
5. Revenge movie.
6. Drama, character based, no plot.
7. Poker movie, road movie.
*8. Crime, thriller.
Ok, now, give me something to do.
6.07.2008
No Pills
So this is the, oh I dunno, 4th or so night in a row where I can't seem to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Normally it's ok, watching a movie till 4 or so, going on the internet till 5 or so and then waking up around 2 or so. But I gotta tell ya, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially coming off of a semester where I was up, out and productive by 9am. I was a regular Dunkin Doughnuts coffee, bagel sometimes muffin guy, 2 eggs on a roll, tea and I'm good for the day guy and it wasn't so bad. If it was possible for me to not sleep...ever, I'd just go with that.
But this isn't the fun kind of I'm staying up all night and having fun, or I can't stop writing or I can't stop playing video games fun non sleep. I want to sleep, I just can't. I've been out partying until 8am before, but at least I was doing something. Now I have no where to go out to. I am making Danny go out somewhere with me tomorrow, probably just to a movie, but I gotta get out of houses. I want to sleep so I can do stuff tomorrow and I won't take pills, mainly because Wren told me to try not doing it. She also recommended tea which I have yet to purchase. Then again, she also suggested yoga, something I don't think I'll do. Maybe I will, seemed to work for her.
Or I can try something else. Someone reply with a number 1 through 7. I have 7 different screenplay ideas I want to write, but don't know which one I want to write first. Someone decide randomly for me. That would make life easier, possibly. Or someone can edit my movie for me. That'd be nice too. Either way.
I'm gonna open up the edit file and see what I can do. Or maybe I'll lay down next to my fan again. We'll see what happens.
5.28.2008
Welcome to Maryland
Quick DC 101 (our rock station here) interview as soon as I got in range
Woman: I've had an orgasm every time I've had sex.
DJ: Every time? How many times have you had sex?
Woman: 2.
DJ: Only 2?
Woman: I didn't want to have sex just to have sex, it was special. I knew my guy could do it.
DJ: So only 2 times? What happened?
Woman: I left him.
DJ: He was 2 for 2, what did he do to make you leave?
Woman: He was terrible. He lied, he cheated he, stole.
DJ: Well no one's perfect.
Woman: He was also sent to jail for a while, that was the last straw.
DJ: What did he go to jail for.
Woman: Stealing a gum ball machine.
DJ: Ok, I'm done with this story.
Thank you DC 101.
5.25.2008
Hello World
Consider this a new blog for a renewed, fresh start.
First real official post coming post-move home
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