This is the snippet that my DVR says: "Cool as Ice - Tepid biker-meets-girl tale starring rapper Vanilla Ice". Dude, for real. Made in 1991 and directed by a guy who was a Playboy photographer, here's the plot so far: Vanilla Ice and his motorcycle gang friends (3 overly stereotyped Black teenagers, to the point that I find it offensive) drive around and one of their bikes breaks down in this small town. Where Ice meets this girl, Kathy. He then proceeds to wow everyone, including her 10 year old younger brother, with his ability to rap, huge colorful parachute pants and yellow motorcycle. Currently on the screen is a montage of Ice and Kathy "dancing"/"playing"/"flirting" in an unbuilt housing construction site.
Seriously, this movie needs to be seen by everyone. There's also some sub plot going on where some gangsters want to kill or extort Kathy's dad. But they just kissed in a great 360 degree rotation shot. So that's not really important. Except I'm sure in the near future the subplot will come back and effect the plot in some fashion. But Kathy's kind of hot, Ice lost his shirt, and all I can wait for is another outfit for him to wear. I really want them to have sex just so he has to put another pair of pants on.
Just look at the poster, you'll see :
Please see this movie so you can talk about it with me. Or make a drinking game out of it with me. Or help me find it on DVD. Or help me write letters to make this a Criterion. Or to make me feel less like a loser.
1 comment:
I will watch it with you if we are both really, really, REALLY drunk. Like afraid to get off the couch because we'll break the table lamp drunk.
Oh, also, I think you should write a romantic comedy.
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