Good Bet Asher's Blog

No spoilers, promise - a Six Feet Under reaction

2009-07-02T00:43:00.003-04:00

I just finished the entire series of "Six Feet Under." It's 5 seasons long, it's about a funeral home, it has relatively decent character bases, pretty great actors, the first season is almost perfect, the second season is almost almost perfect, the third season starts to slip, the fourth season gets very soap opera-y, the fourth season also contains one of the strangest, if not the single weirdest episode of television I've ever seen in my life, the fifth season has some really interesting parts, and then when you hear people talk about "the finale being so perfect" and then it builds and you have no idea where it's going and it takes such strange turns and then every single scene in the last episode is so on point and poignant and not pretentious and true to the characters and the story, and then it ends...the way it does. It's just very hard to put into words. I suppose it's a bit telling that you can't put it into words, and the show didn't even put it into words. Don't worry that doesn't give it away, but words aren't meant to summarize the ending, or any ending for that matter, which is what the show is all about. You can't put it into words and, as the last lines of the show tell us,

"You can't take a picture of this, it's already gone"

This is as close to speechless as I've ever been moved to, and I think that's exactly what was supposed to happen. Tip of the hat to you Alan Ball. To Alan.

Conversations you never thought you'd hear

2009-06-19T00:23:00.002-04:00

Working in the restaurant business allows for many conversations you would never think would happen in this world to not only happen, but with high frequency. Here's a gem from the other night I was lucky enough to over hear:

Waitress: What would you like to eat?
Patron: Just some bread.
Waitress: What kind of bread?
Patron: Just some bread.
Waitress: We have a lot of different kinds of bread, any kind in particular?
Patron: You know...bread.
Waitress: I know what bread is.

Waitress: (in the retelling of the story to me) I know what bread is...jackass.

Strangest sitcom turn...*spoiler alert

2009-06-16T13:06:00.002-04:00

So I finally caught up on watching Weeds last night. Finished up season 4 and then watched the 5 premiere. This show has taken one of the strangest turns I've ever seen.

Weeds used to be about a white suburban single mom selling pot. Then it was about a white suburban mom selling a lot of pot. Then she sold heroine. Then they decided there wasn't much left to do in suburbia so they literally burned it down, and it became a show about a mom taking her family on the run...and selling drugs. Then she became affiliated with a big Mexican mafioso. And now it's about a white suburban mom having a Mexican mafia boss' love child...which, needless to say, is very far away from selling pot in suburbia.

I still consider the end of the show the end of season 3, when Agrestic was burned to the ground. That seemed the natural ending to the series, but since it's television, it obviously wouldn't end at 3 seasons since it's so popular. Now it just seems to be about "how else can we make Nancy's life even more complicated..."

I'll obviously still keep watching, because even for its wacky plot twists, it's still one of the better shows on TV, which also says a lot. Plus the comedy is still there and still mostly on point. They actually made a very funny Facebook joke in the 5 premiere.

Mainly I'll keep watching because I want to see where the hell they can go from here. I'm curious if the writers have any idea or if they're just pulling ideas out of their ass, or from Nancy's uterus.

If you thought 250 was great...

2009-06-05T16:07:00.002-04:00

Then youll love Randy Johnson's 300th win last night, also against the Nationals.

Randy Johnson is about as opposite as Jaime Moyer, other than the fact that both are lefties. Randy Johnson is 6'10 and in his prime, which lasted a long time, was the most dominate pitcher out there. A lefty who throws 95-105 mph, will pitch inside, will never back down from any batter, and has one mean ass stare, that was Randy Johnson.

You can remember RJ from his time in Seattle, when he and Griffey Jr. put the Mariners into the playoffs several years in a row. You can remember RJ from his time in Arizona where he and Schilling led the team to their first World Series win, as he and Schilling were co-MVPs.

Another big 300 is strikeouts in a season, an accomplishment equivalent to 4000 passing yards in a season. Johnson reached this 5 times in his career, including 4 years in a row from 1999 to 2002, where he also won 4 straight Cy Young awards. He left Seattle in 1998, looking like maybe he was waning in his career. From there he went to Houston, Arizona, then back to the AL to the Yanks and back to Arizona and now in San Fransisco.

Johnson becomes only the 24th player ever to reach 300 wins, and could very well be the last player ever to do so. Just in how baseball is played these days, guys don't pitch as much as they used to, which influences the amount of wins. Pitchers these days have pitch counts, inning counts, injuries all mean pampered pitchers that don't want to go 7, 8 or 9 innings, which means more relievers are going to get wins.

Congratulations to The Big Unit, Randy Johnson and to baseball history.

#250

2009-06-01T16:34:00.002-04:00

Last night Jaime Moyer joined an elite group of pitchers in baseball history. He won his 250th career game, at the tender age of 46.

Moyer won't get the acclaim of a lot of hall of fame pitchers who are also on that list, mainly because he's in his 23rd season of play, has a career ERA of 4.22 and only 2200+ career strike outs.

What makes Moyer a great pitcher is his work ethic and his command of the skill of pitching. He never had a lights out fastball, in fact, his fastball never really hit over 80 miles per hour. He never really had a strong curve ball. He just knew how to throw the ball over the plate, hit his location and get people out.

He's played for 7 different teams, and looks like he'll finish out his career in Philadelphia. He's also under contract for 1 more year, so it's likely he'll play the 2010 season as well.

What makes this accomplishment noteworthy is that Moyer could be the last guy to reach 250 wins for a very long time. The only 2 guys with over 200 wins pitching right now are John Smoltz and Andy Pettite. Both are waining and would need 2-3 more full seasons to really get close to 250, and with injuries, it doesn't look likely. No one else with 180-190 wins looks like they'll reach it, so it could be up to some younger guys like Johan Santana (116 wins so far at age 30 or Roy Halladay 139 wins at 32. Both of them have the pitching abilities to reach it, but it would take a combination of winning teams and injury free baseball for roughly the next 5-7 years for them to even come close.

Something to keep an eye on over the next few years. For now, Moyer gets to be the latest in a group of historical pitchers.

Of all the movies...

2009-05-31T04:55:00.002-04:00

There's a lot I could blog about. There are a lot of things I could talk about. There are a lot of movies I could talk about. But I'm going to talk about Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.

Directed by Kim Henkel. Less importantly starring Mathew McCounahay who gets to be in the scariest role you will ever see him in, Rene Zellwegger in a strange role and a few other B actors. More importantly Kim Henkel was the co-writer for the original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

So it came on, and as there is little to watch on a Saturday night, I figured a bad horror movie could always be fun. Usually I give a movie I forsee as going to be "bad" about 15 minutes to see if theres some hook. It doesn't have to be a good one, just some reason not to change the channel to Sportscenter repeats, just some reason why this movie was made.

It starts off very on the nose and boring and 70s, but it was made in '94 so there had to be some reason? Was it motif or just bad film making? I dunno, kept watching 10 minutes in. Still very scripted, but it's getting more obvious. Maybe it will be campy? 94 wasn't really into campy horror though, the late 80s and early 90s were much more about sequels and serialized horror. The Jasons, Freddys, Hellraisers, were all sequelized in the 90s. So this remake could just as easily be...really bad horror...and then there's this turn.

There had been one jump scare so far, the rest was all ambiance fear, setting mood and what not. A female character, the dumb prom queen one, waits in the front of the creepy house while her boyfriend, the obnoxious jock, goes around the back. In frame is simply the girl on a porch bench and then slowly, with no jump, a large figure enters the frame. He moves his way over, but is too tall for the screen. We can only see him from the waist down, so we know he's huge. And he just stands behind her. He very slowly waves at her hair with a few fingers. She bats it away. Again. A few times. Then it just cuts away. Nice, light, simple. This was not a 90s movie.

From there it makes a lot of really interesting choices in terms of horror and gore, who gets killed, how, how someone escapes and all that. McConaughey plays an incredibly creepy sadistic lunatic with a robotic leg, for some reason. The interesting choice made here is what they did with McConaughey and the other villains. Our heroes were stereotyped action figures. There was the heroine who was shy and quiet and everyone made fun of her, there was the prom queen who was really wishing to be more free, the jock who didn't fear anything, and the geeky guy who got to die. None of them had any sort of backstory. Usually what horror tries to do is bury you in the hero's life so you feel apart of it, so when it gets scared, you get scared. This movie does the exact opposite. It humanizes the villains...to a degree. It's not a horror movie like Seven which is based in realism, the world in this movie is still cartoonish, as most horror. But this time the horror isn't the cartoon, the heroes are.

The purpose for this becomes incredibly clear near the end, when a mysterious black car drives up to the house. A french man gets out, walks in, and tries to calm down Rene Zellwegger. Then he berates and beats McConaughey for "not being scary enough." It's vague and ridiculous, but not absurd. He tells McConaughey to really scare her, he wants her to know what real fear is, and that he is just being a "silly boy." Then he leaves. Then there's a brutal killing, which I'll spare the details for the weaker of the readers, but trust me, it was pretty cruel. Then there's a big chase scene, Rene gets out and eventually McConaughey dies, in a ridiculous fashion. And Leatherface, remember, this is a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie, as a complete cross dresser (which he always was, but by the end of the movie is in full on wacky attire). After McConaughey dies, the black car is there, and Rene gets in to have a final conversation with the French guy. He explains that his intent was to really scare people into having a spiritual experience. That he really tried to scare people for good. And that now, the people he hires are so far out of whack and so far gone with gore and needless violence that they have forgotten what they were supposed to do in the first place.

I don't know if Henkel was trying to say anything about the horror industry or not. I don't know if he was calling out everyone who sold out and made a copy of a movie that hurt a genre that was finally making progress. I don't know if Henkel was just bitter that what he tried to create spawned awful sequels (one of which stars Viggo Mortenson, I gotta find that one) that ultimately set horror back at least 10-20 years. I don't know Kim Henkel. I do like his movies though.

The way to act in the NBA

2009-05-14T01:46:00.002-04:00

In case any of you don't keep up with NBA news, tonight the Dallas Mavericks lost to the Denver Nuggets, in Denver, advancing Denver to their first trip to the conference finals in 20 some odd years. Aside from always being happy when Dallas exits the playoffs, this year has a little more sugar on top.

Here's the story regarding the Mavericks, Mark Cuban, Keyon Martin's mother and the city of Dallas:

So Denver was the far superior team, talent wise. This was evident by the first few games not being close. In game 3, the Nuggets were down by 2 with 3 seconds left. The Mavs had a foul to give, which means they could foul someone without that person shooting free throws. The strategy here is to foul someone because it takes time off the clock and prevents a shot from the Nuggets. Without getting into the philosophy of whether or not this tactic is ethical or not, what happened was the Mavs player "tried" to foul Carmello Anthony (out of...championship winning Syracuse), but the foul wasn't called and Mello hit a 3, giving them the lead with about a second to go. This was cause for controversy because the Mavs player "tried" to foul him, but whether or not a foul is called is up to the refs, and they didn't call the foul.

After the game, Mark Cuban, the Mavs owner, was so irate that as he was leaving the stadium he walked past Kenyon Martin (big center for Denver)'s mother and to her face, called her son a reckless thug, and proceeded to heckle her further. A defenseless mother, sitting in the stands, just happy to see her son playing basketball, was yelled at because Mark Cuban has the temper of a 5 year old. The entire Denver team called out Dallas saying they needed an apology. They never received one.

Game 4 was played in Dallas, and Mark Cuban's actions riled up the fans to the point where they heckled Martin's mother and Carmello's fiance in the crowd. A lack of an apology or any real recognition of fault on the organization's part lead to even more unnecessary taunting. Dallas overcame a deficit in the game, and won.

It wasn't until yesterday that Mark Cuban apologized. Via his blog. Now, I'm all for blogging, and Cuban keeps up a decent blog, as idiotic and juvenile as it is. But that's how you apologize? On the blog, Cuban said, "I apologize for my actions and the next time Martin's family is in Dallas they can stay with me and my family in my suite."

Chauncey Billups, Denver point guard, said, "We still feel like Mark needs to apologize in person. And we don't plan on coming back to Dallas." Billups was implying that they wouldn't need to play a game 6, meaning they would take care of Dallas tonight in Denver. And they did, handily, thank God.

Mark Cuban is a pain in the side of the NBA, and sports in general. For a while I thought that his antics were fun and innocent, but after a point, you have to grow up. The entire organization is a joke, from the ground up. These are people that have an influence on the way people feel, and to ignore tact and respect is just absurd.

To emphasize my point, I want to point out this "situation" with Glen Davis and the little kid he shoved. Here's what happened there: Glen Davis hits a game winning jump shot with 2 seconds to go and in his moment of elation and celebration, he sprints down the court and inadvertently pushes a little kid who was standing court side. After the game, the kid's father called Davis, "a reckless animal." From watching it, it was obviously apparent Davis didn't see the kid, seeing as how Davis is plus 6 feet and 250 pounds, and the kid was about 3 feet tall. Davis, however, did publicly apologize saying, "I'm a big guy and sometimes I can't even feel when I sit on the remote. I didn't see the kid, I didn't mean to cause anyone harm and if I caused anyone pain I apologize."

How's that for the way to act? He didn't owe anyone an apology. But he comes out, makes sure everyone is ok, and handles himself with poise and humor. The father of the kid has even since come out and apologized for his harsh behavior. So everyone has apologized and everyone is happy.

This is just the difference between a caliber team like the Celtics versus the caliber of a team like the Mavericks. From the players to coaches to the owners, everyone makes a difference on a sports team and it's about time some people realized that.

There are sports figures who can be heroes. There are sports figures who can lift spirits and bring people together. There are sports figures who can make people feel elation and joy and pride. Then there are sports figures who curse out old ladies.

Thank God we don't have to put up with Mark Cuban anymore, at least until next basketball season.

Because everyone needs to know

2009-05-12T04:17:00.003-04:00

Tonight marks the tallest pitching match up in baseball history. Meaning tonight there was a match up of pitchers whose combined height is the tallest in recorded history.

It was Randy Johnson 6"10 vs. Daniel Cabrera 6"9

That's all. You just needed to know that.

Another Year

2009-04-24T13:08:00.000-04:00

Daily Overview: April 24, 2009

You don't always feel comfortable offering criticism, preferring to let things and people be who they are. Today, though, you have to speak out about something that doesn't sit well with you.

Happy #42 Day

2009-04-15T19:02:00.003-04:00

I never cared as much about acceptance as much as I cared about respect

-- Jackie Robinson

Today marks the anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the race barrier in baseball.
One news reporter said, "it's amazing what Jackie did for the game of baseball, considering that it was his 4th best sport. He was better at football, basketball and track and field."

This just in...my parents are more savvy than any of you

2009-04-01T22:52:00.002-04:00

So I sent out a text message today to many of my friends. The text read, "I have refound religion. I will be entering JTS to become a rabbi"

I received responses, including:

"Cool" (x2 of you)
"What's JTS" (Jewish Theological Seminary, located uptown)
Alex asked me why this was special news for today
Linda said she supported me as long as I grew out a beard
And I had one of you going for longer than I thought I would.
In fact only one of my friends actually caught on to the joke.

My parents, however, are more clever than any of you.

Dad's response: Mazal tov! Happy April 1st!
Mom's response: Do they have rabbis in antarctica?

Happy April Fools Day everyone. You're mostly all fools!

The World Baseball Classic and Curt Schilling

2009-03-24T01:56:00.002-04:00

The 2nd World Baseball Classic just finished, in particularly fitting fashion, with an Ichiro single up the middle in the top of the 10th to score 2 to seal Japan's 2nd win.

Here's the deal with the WBC: It was organized a few years ago by Bud Selig (current MLB commishioner) decided that baseball needed to be popularized and televised all over the world, and that baseball should be recognized on an international level. Plus, he gets the political points for creating an event that brings nations together and raises potential income and revenue to smaller countries like Cuba. Either way, the tournement is meant to build prestige and for the world to see players it would normally not see, which is a great idea.

The problem we run in to is, well, it's the American spirit. To the US, baseball is still a job to most players. They play for their paycheck and that's that. I don't look down on that, but when given the chance to represent something bigger than your team or even yourself, that being your country, it would be nice to see our team put their best foot forward. The problem America runs in to is that the WBC comes roughly 4-5 weeks before the beginning of the MLB season. So many players won't play because they want to get in shape with their teams, they want to spend time with their families and they don't want to risk any serious injury before the season. While this is completely understandable, you look at other countries (like Japan, Korea or Cuba) and you can see the energy in their eyes and in their play.

Baseball is a sport unlike all other sports in that it requires heart and a full desire to win more than the other team. I'm not saying that you don't need that energy to take the ball in the 4th quarter and lead your team down the field and throw a winning touchdown in the corner of the endzone to a receiver who catches it over 2 defenders with his toes gliding over the tips of the corner grass blades in the endzone for the winning Super Bowl catch. But baseball is a game that requires you to play with 100% effort the entire game. Baseball only ends when it ends, there's no clock. You can't have a great first half and then play a sloppy second half and still win by 12 points. In any given inning you can implode and lose a 10 run lead. If the other team wants it more, they'll take it.

You could tell in the eyes of the US players that they weren't in it to win it. They were there to put in a good showing, to get amped up a little bit, to be exciting a little bit against Puerto Rico, but then when facing a team that they could beat but would really need to try hard, eh, Brian Roberts will let a few grounders by, Adam Dunn won't chase down a routine single, Derek Jeter won't throw off his feet and Roy Oswalt will just throw it over the plate. Chipper Jones won't play because his thigh hurts, Dustin Pedrioa didn't want to play because of a sore abdomen, not to mention all the guys that just didn't want to play. Ichiro starts the season the same time as the rest of these guys, and you can tell he's already playing in midseason form. That may be because Ichiro is always in midseason form, nevertheless, they wanted the win more. Korea put up a hell of a show taking it into 10 innings, and they played with a ton of heart.

So what's the problem? The problem is that this competition is a new competition, and will only gain respect if it is played with respect. If the WBC will ever mean anything to anyone inside the US, we have to take it seriously. You can be sure that Japan is celebrating right now. Korea is mourning their loss. Puerto Rico can't wait to face us again. And we couldn't really care less. We just show up to work. This is a competition that can really mean something, it can really bring out the best in players and in the game, but until we give it some credit, it never will. Granted, it is in its second round and should take a few more to build up prestige. But if you wanted to buy a WBC shirt or hat, I"m sure that would help out some.

In other news, Curt Schilling retired today. Curt happened to be my favorite player, ever since I learned the game, had him on my fantasy team, watched him pitch in person, watched him win a World Series, watched him pitch through pain, watched him win another world series, watched him care more about the game and his team than himself, and listened to his animated blog. Curt became my favorite player when I learned with a complete game was. When a pitcher pitches the entire game, when he tells his coach that he's going to finish what he started, that he doesn't care if he's winning or losing he's going to be the only one who pitched in this game, that's a complete game.

Karl Ravech, ESPN baseball analyst said this," Seriously, think about some of the most memorable moments in baseball history. Joe Carter's walk-off home run in Game 6 of the 1993 World Series to give the title to the Blue Jays. Yes, it broke the Phillies. But without Curt Schilling throwing a five-hit, 147-pitch complete game shutout in Game 5, the Phillies wouldn't have seen Game 6. So without that effort from Schilling in Game 5, there is no Joe Carter moment in Game 6. Also keep this in mind: That Game 5 gem came a night after a Phillies implosion. They wasted a 14-9, seventh-inning lead against the Blue Jays. The Phillies were crushed. But here came Schilling, the very next night, with the wound still fresh, and he put the Phils on his back to keep their postseason alive."

147 pitches is almost unheard of. Your arm feels like it's going to fall off after about 80-90 pitches. Topping 100 is a big deal these days. 147 is running on literal fumes.

So a tip of the hat to Curt. I can only hope that his future involves coaching or managing, or at the very least a talk show on ESPN.

Is it March already?

2009-03-12T22:57:00.002-04:00

So in the past few weeks/months I have:

Managed a restaurant
Been offered many drugs, out in public, at said restaurant
Started ghost writing a book
Left the restaurant
Won at poker
Lost at poker
Starting writing a book of my own
Started writing slam poetry
Finished the entire series of Friends
Fallen in love with Abraham Lincoln
Grown out my beard
Shaved my beard
Danced through a blizzard
Figured out that my chemical make up is such that I am actually happier in the cold
Came up with a title for my abroad project
Started writing letters for my abroad project
Started adding people to my abroad project

I am now currently a freelance PA/writer/whatever you'll pay me for. It has been pointed out to me on several occasions the striking resemblance this title has to the title of prostitutes, to which I can only say that prostitutes make a lot more money than I do.

I also recently decided that I want to buy a Go board. I then realized that it is absurd to buy a Go board. I then came to the conclusion that I should carve a Go board myself. So now I have to find out how to do that.

Be well

Normally I'm not a huge basketball person...

2009-02-17T07:58:00.003-05:00

But I do love a good storyline. A couple years ago I loved watching Alen Iverson go from being the one man show in Phillie to part of being a team and not wanting such a strong responsibility load in Denver.

This year, the story is this. This is an open invitation from the NBA:

The NBA has written it's letter to LeBron James

Dear Lebron,
You have said that you will stop at nothing to get a championship to Cleveland. This is your time to show everyone if you can do it. Have a fun second half.

Love,
The NBA

Now there's even a reason to watch the playoffs.

The Sport of Yoga

2009-02-11T05:12:00.003-05:00

Where we value sports these days is a gray area in society I think we need to look at with more focus. Sports stars are seen as role models, heroes even. But are we giving them too much value? Don’t get me wrong; you’ll be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of sports than I. Competition, building your character, testing your mental and physical limits, learning to control your emotions, understanding being part of something larger than you are just scratch the surface of what sports can do. But what should we call something that goes farther than that, and still involves all the physical attributes of a “sport?”

I’ll be perfectly honest with you; I’ve never actually done yoga before. All I knew about yoga before I wrote this was what I had seen on TV. I never knew about the spiritual aspect of yoga, or what a community it can build. I was introduced to Tari Prinster, a local New York yoga instructor, and I quickly found out how much more yoga can be.

Tari was diagnosed with breast cancer, and after several treatments and recoveries, she is alive and well. More than that, Tari found mental peace in her yoga. “I was doing yoga for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. It made me buff and strong. . . what happened after [my diagnosis] was a BIG surprise…there was a change. I began to understand the meditative aspects, the power of breath to calm my mind and the need to relax as part of a healing process…cancer gave me enlightenment to use yoga as more than exercise and toning.”

But this wasn’t where Tari drew the line. In 2002 she founded Yoga for Women Cancer Survivors at OM Yoga, a program specifically for women cancer survivors. Since 2002 her program has grown from 3-5 women a week to a full 24 classes a week. I asked Tari if she could talk about the before and after class experiences, asking about the community feeling. She said, “they feel safe. And they come for the experience of ‘well-being’ that a yoga class can give. There is nothing in their lives that give them the time and space to just BE. They feel stronger, normal and hopeful.” What started out as just exercise has become something personal, something communal, something giving.

So would we consider Tari a “sports star?” I think we can make the analogy that Tari is a head coach, teaching and inspiring, but she has gone farther than modern sport. When something takes the next step; when something takes that step beyond competition; when something takes that step into the realm of helping other people, it goes beyond sport. It goes beyond a combination of fitness and entertainment and it becomes larger. In a time where our athletic role models are only seen in the news for scandals, drugs, crime, contract hold outs, it is refreshing to hear about a woman like Tari. A woman who should be a hero to everyone, sports fan or not.

Some morning math

2009-01-30T06:58:00.001-05:00

Being on the train with all the men and women going home at 6:30 AM after a long night's work > being on the other train

A little experiment

2009-01-28T14:53:00.002-05:00

I want to play a little game with anyone who's willing to try it.

Last night I watched "Hard Eight" without knowing anything about it. Brandon just turned it on and we watched it and couldn't stop watching it. We had no expectations, no idea what it was, just recognized some of the actors and director and went with it.

For anyone out there who hasn't seen this movie, DON'T IMDB IT yet. I have an idea to make this movie an even greater experience. If you haven't heard about it, or know anything about it, get it off Netflix or whatever and just watch it. Don't read about it. Don't read reviews. Don't read a synopsis that gives away what happens. Don't do any of that. Just put it on TV and watch it. I am 100% sure that it will enhance your experience ten fold.

I've noticed this a lot recently with any movie. We watched the movie "23" starring Jim Carrey the other day, and despite what you may have heard, it didn't suck. It was actually quite interesting, a little over done, but really interesting. Brandon and I tried to figure out why it got canned so bad, and is even listed as a top 100 worst movies of all time. Think back to how it was marketed, and even a bit how it's filmed. It was projected as a horror movie. It's not a horror movie. It's really even a thriller. It's sort of a psychological crime drama. Sort of. It deals with a man's obsession and basically how he loses his mind. It's not about ghosts and cheap jumps. But that's how it was marketed, and thus that's how it will be remembered.

It's all about expectations. You go to the movies expecting something great or something not so great, and the movie itself suffers. Either it's not as good as you thought it would be, or it's far better than you thought it would be, but not actually better.

I think back to a few times I saw a movie not knowing anything about it. I saw Michael Clayton not knowing anything about it other than it had George Clooney, thoroughly enjoyed it. I saw Tell No One without knowing anything about it other than it was French, one of the greatest viewing experiences I've had. Watched Danny Boyle's Shallow Grave the first time without knowing anything about it other than it was his first feature, and it's still one of my favorite movies.

The next movie you see, try to just see it. Don't have all these pre-made expectations that cloud the movie. If not "Hard Eight" then for something else. "Hard Eight" just happens to be a movie that will be enhanced by not knowing anything about it, and just letting the movie take you where it's going to take you.

Learning is fun!

2009-01-27T13:32:00.002-05:00

I've tried to find a link to this show, but I can't find it, which is just as well. Either way, the Discovery Channel had a show on the other day about scientists that have basically thought of a new world and what new organisms could live there. At first it seemed like a joke, but they were really serious about it. We argued whether or not these guys were full of it or not, and couldn't really conclude anything other than they probably were.

Last night I went to a book signing for Neil deGasse Tyson, who's written many awesome books about space and black holes. He was also apparently the leader of the panel that renamed Pluto. He's basically a genius, awesome human being, and a really great public speaker.

Anyway, when he signed my book I asked him about those guys that make their own worlds and create their own potential animals and life forms. Here was his response:

"Those guys aren't scientists. Let's just pretend that we don't call that "science." It just sort of passes over for science, but it's not real."

Thank you for that Neil.

Hollywood is political? Get the F out

2009-01-22T20:16:00.002-05:00

So Oscar noms came out today. I've been throwing around a theory the past few weeks about who will win and why, and these noms for Best Picture really do solidify it. The Oscars are regarded as the top award for American entertainment, and since we like to think that everyone else values our entertainment as high as we do, the top awards for the world's entertainment. What movie wins can have a huge impact on what values are important to Americans. So let's see who wants what to win:

Doubt - On Christmas, at the midnight mass held in the Vatican, the Pope talked about two main issues in the world. 1) War in the Middle East. 2) Pedophilia in the Church. I think this movie gets the Catholic vote.

Frost/Nixon - I like to think that the government has an idea of the power the Oscars have, so I would like to think they can see that Frost/Nixon is a good kind of movie to have win. It depicts a president being evil, something most Americans have felt they've been facing the past 8 years, so watching this, could be the catharsis we need to move on. It could. That's why I think the government will be pulling for this.

Milk - But what about the homosexual politicians? Well, ok, they're pulling for Milk. Probably most of the Gay community too.

Slumdog Millionaire - Well what about the lower class, shouldn't they get a catharsis movie too? With unemployment so high, people are so worried about becoming homeless and poor, here we see a movie about hope and free will. Could be a real pick me up for lots of people. And, you know, it has India pulling for it too.

Benjamin Button - I mean, Forest Gump won so many Oscars, what made you think that this wouldn't? Just see this for proof

So what's it gonna be America? What's our next big topic? Sexual preference? Societal oversight? Pedophilia? Poverty? What's more important than the other? Who deserves the attention? Gay people? Children? Lower class? Politicians? Or...guys that grow backwards?

You know, I can solve all of these problems with 1 movie. There is 1 person who doesn't focus on 1 group, but aids everyone he can with the best and greatest of abilities.

Poker, in a nutshell

2009-01-22T08:10:00.002-05:00

Most of you should know I love the game of poker, I think it's a fascinating sport, a way to see deep inside a person's soul, and for now it's a way that I can pay my rent. I'm a member of this online forum called 2+2, and it's a strategy forum where you post hands and ask advice sort of thing. Well, I just wrote my 1,000th post there, and I wrote a little milestone post, so to speak, and I figured I'd post it here too.

There is most likely terminology some of you may not understand. Feel free to ask questions. There are no stupid questions.

Enjoy:

(Just a little background about myself, in case any one is curious: I'm 22, currently unemployed, graduated with a degree in Film and Writing, started playing poker when I was 15 with AMT in my basement, we taught other high school kids how to play then took their money, played online a bit in college, then Alex went pro so I started to take it a bit more seriously, then Alex staked me for the $5s and here I am. Hope you enjoy what I have to say)

Looking at poker in perspective.
There was a theory I was reading about, this guy ran a study trying to see how people think about the future and the present and using money as a need. So if I asked you if you wanted 50 dollars or 60 dollars, you would obviously say 60. Where it gets fun is putting in time as a way to measure value. Would you rather have 50 dollars now or 60 dollars in a month. People generally tend to want the 50 dollars now because now is usually seen as better than in the future. But what if I said 50 dollars in 12 months or 60 dollars in 13 months. The man's study found that people were willing to wait the extra month and hold out for the 60. It's an interesting phenomenon, really. Look at what we value and time, you can see the obvious contradiction we have. The average person is willing to wait 13 months for 60 dollars as opposed to 12 months for 50, but imagine that actually happening, and then getting to the now vs. in 1 month from now, people will want the 50 dollars now.

Now I want to apply this to poker. This is the exact rationale behind playing tight early on and loose later in a SnG. If I gave you this situation:

1st hand of the game, 1500 chips, UTG with KK. Would you shove? Absolutely not. That would be seen as a vast overexageration and most of the time (you'll still get called a lot by junk in lower levels obviously) you're losing value by doing this.

But let's say we're 4 handed, at the bubble and we have 1500 UTG/CO, blinds at 100/200 with KK. This is a clear shove (I guess you can make the case that sometimes you want to vary it up and limp or whatever, but it's a relatively clear shove). We have the same hand, in the same (relatively) position and the same stack. But what's happened? Because the blinds got higher, we can now shove effeciently.

This concept was one of the hardest I had to accept getting through SnGs, and that's the value of a chip. I was trying to explain to my room mate once about blinds, and how the % of your stack is "forced money" in the pot and that amount rises over time. Since that % rises, we have to be willing to play more hands in order to win more hands and now get blinded out. Then explaining this further to the same room mate, applying it to % of total chips in the game. So there only become X number of blinds in the game, and when that value decreases, which it does as the blinds increase, then the value of the chips in play, or "forced money" become more valuable.

n00b training
I wanna go over a few tendencies I know I fell into early on in my poker playing career, and hopefully some of you can see them and stop them from happening before it's too late.

1) Reaching the 3000 chip milestone: What I love about SnGs that most people don't really get is that they are completely structured. There are only 13,500 chips in play that you can get, regardless of blinds, and sometimes we let our chip stacks get in the way of making +EV plays. Take for example, what's happened to all of us at every buy in level at least once in our careers: You get AA on the FIRST HAND! Someone raises, someone else reraises and you're just like, HELL YEAH, I SHOVE. You shove in so emphatically and then BAM, someone calls with KK. Now after just the 1st hand you've reached the illustrious 3,000 chip mark. Something happens to us at this point. We either think, "well I can coast to the money" or "now I can be a bully." Both of these thoughts are true, but thinking them and not taking perspective into play will get us in a lot of trouble.

2) Having 3000 chips does NOT prove anything. I can't tell you how many I've been too cocky with a big chip stack and then bubbled. All you can do is think back to how you were either too stingy or too lenient with your chips. I've snuck into the money with 2,000 chips before, gotten heads up and won before. I've also had 7,000 chips on the bubble and not made the money. You have to NOT think ahead. Think about each hand as it plays out. Every single hand should have its own thought process. Each hand where you're faced to either put in chips or not put in chips should require you to look at everyone elses stack, the blinds, assigned set of ranges for each player and then a decision, hopefully before you time out.

3) "Well he sucks, I MUST have him beat!" This mentality is for those of us who like to bang our heads against the walls of our homes and hope that money comes out, aka playing $2-$10 SnGs. Then playing turbos just means banging your head against the wall harder and faster. I can't tell you how many times I have a note on someone that reads "sux die" and then somehow he gets Kings. It just happens. Even idiots get big hands. DON'T LET IT TILT YOU. It's going to happen. You just have to take reassurance in the fact that at the end of the day, he's taking edges that are -eV. But Asher, the fish keep beating me! I know. But there's math to this game too, which is something that every donk doesn't understand. QQ will beat JJ 90% of the time, but it will also lose 10% of the time. It just seems that the 10% happens more because it hurts so damn much. I guarantee that you're winning 90% of the time, you just don't realize it. This isn't a variance thing, this is a mentality thing, you can't doubt yourself into thinking that you have to loosen up or start playing garbage just because they are. Keep playing your game. You'll beat them long run. At least, we have to keep telling ourselves that in order to not commit sepaku.

4) Every little chip counts -- One big problem I think you can run in to a lot is the "well it's not for much of my stack, so I'll just call this small raise with nothing" mentality. You have to be able to look ahead past the hand. Here's a hand I played, that in the grand scheme of the SnG didn't mean much or do anything, but I wanna use it as an example.

Full Tilt Poker $6 + $0.50 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t20/t40 Blinds - 9 players - View hand 14341
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com

MP2: t1530 M = 25.50
CO: t1380 M = 23
BTN: t1755 M = 29.25
Hero (SB): t1695 M = 28.25
BB: t1470 M = 24.50
UTG: t1500 M = 25
UTG+1: t1320 M = 22
UTG+2: t1500 M = 25
MP1: t1350 M = 22.50

Pre Flop: (t60) Hero is SB with 9 T
1 fold, UTG+1 calls t40, 5 folds, Hero calls t20, BB checks

Flop: (t120) 3 K T (3 players)
Hero checks, BB checks, UTG+1 checks

Turn: (t120) 3 (3 players)
Hero bets t100, BB folds, UTG+1 calls t100

River: (t320) J (2 players)
Hero checks, UTG+1 checks

Random, pretty early, I figured I'd stab at the turn and see if my pair held by the river. For some reason, he called me with A high. Ok, not huge, but look at where we are after the hand. I have 1875 and he has 1180. At this blind level, he's fine, but in a turbo, blinds are going to be raising to 25/50, where a standard 3x raise will be more than 10% of his stack. Then he starts getting himself into tougher situations. Meanwhile, I'm sitting with a nice 1800+ stack and ready for the higher blinds. It's a small change, but if he hadn't limped the hand at all to begin with, (which is a CLEAR fold pf, with A6o in MP) he'd be in a better situation to progress in the SnG. It's a little thing, but if you find hands like this on a consistent basis, they add up.

5) "Oh, I know what tilting means, I'm ok to play": This is probably the worst kind of mentality I'm going to talk about. The psychology of poker is something I could probably go on and on about, but knowing when NOT to play is the hardest thing to learn. Knowing when you play optimally takes a lot of practice, and it takes a lot of downswings. Figuring out time of day, how many tables, what music to listen to, what chair to sit in, what shorts to wear, what to drink, what to eat, how to sit, to be on AIM, to have 2+2 open, to have any internet open at all, watch a movie, watch some TV. I'm sure you don't think about all these things on a day to day, hour to hour or minute by minute basis, but at some point in time you should take into consideration every single possible distraction you can have and look at literally every aspect of what your game is. I have literally thought about every single one of those things, and have different routines for different flows. I can have a TV show on to keep me focused, sometimes I need music, sometimes I have 2+2 open, it all depends on how I'm feeling.

Getting to understand your emotions how they relate to poker is the key. Getting frustrated about poker and then being in a bad mood will almost certainly lead to more bad poker playing. Knowing when to stop, take a break, refocus, and then get back is the hardest part. And really truthfully, you won't learn how to do it until you fail at it. It takes a big downswing to make you question your routine and question your ability to control your emotions before you can really take a step back and say, "ok, this is what I'm doing wrong and this is how I'm going to correct it."

What to do with emotion
That first big downswing is going to hurt. It's going to feel like you forgot how to play poker. But everyone goes through it (except Tatta, but whatever). Look at my graph (movieman2g) and you'll see my November. I'm gonna tell you how I got out of it, and I haven't told anyone else this before, but at one point, I was literally down to $7 in my account. I said, F it, let's play one more. So I played a $6, cashed, then said, well you know what, let's see if this works out. So I played an $11. Cashed again. So I played a $22. Cashed again. At this point, I said, ok, time to stop, and I grinded the 2s until I built up my roll to play the 6s and now my roll is healthy and steady. But I had to hit rock bottom before I could question every part of my game in order to know that I had weaknesses. Poker isn't a game just about luck or reads or math. It's more of a self-mental game than any other sport. Understanding that you will fail most of the time and learning to deal with it is part of the game.

Take everything I have to say with perspective. These are things that I've noticed from myself, my room mate (blouk), my friends (AMT) and from posting on the forum. 2+2 is probably the best guide you can use to improve your game, so if you're wondering about making a commitment to the forum, and you have the time, do it.

I'll end my post with a quote from Anthony Holden, a poker old timer. This quote got me through a lot of hard times, not just in poker, and is a big reason I've pursued poker as much as I have in my life so far.

"Whether he likes it or not, a man's character is stripped at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life."

Hmm...

2009-01-15T02:57:00.003-05:00

I just wanted to take the time to express the following thought: Dancing is probably the most awesomely absurd acts of animalistic nature. Think about how we try to attract mates for the survival of your species, and decided by which one can move their body in odd ways the best.

Am I missing something, or is that notion just really cool? And a very strange thing to say about evolution.

So I had this dream

2009-01-07T20:25:00.003-05:00

I'm not really a violent person, as portrayed by this dream I had last night.

So I was me, which sometimes I'm not in my dreams, and I walked into a police station, waited in line patiently, walked up to an office who asked what my business was. I said, "I'd like to turn myself in for a second degree murder." He didn't flinch, he just led me into a big empty room, much like an empty convenience store, and said to wait. We stood around for a little while, and I said, "do you want to know what happened?" He said, "No, don't tell me anything." So I waited there for a while, and then someone else came in, for some reason I seem to think he was a judge, and he said, "did you mean to do what you did?" At which point I sort of had a flashback to being in a car and thinking that I had killed this woman with my car, knowing that's what I was turning myself in for, but also seeing a flashback of someone else I had killed that no one else knew about. So I said, "I never meant to kill her." I didn't mention the other flashback, and they seemed to think I was ok and let me go. The next part of my dream I can remember is getting ready to go to the airport, and my Swedish exchange student Kevin was driving a truck on my lawn, then I had to pee so I woke up.

I guess the moral of the story is that murder isn't that hard to get away with. Or it could be to just not mess with me. I'm not sure yet. Either way, most vivid dream of 2009 so far.

2009 is gonna be good

2008-12-31T15:35:00.002-05:00

For it will hold the greatest of all movies

Dear 2008

2008-12-31T14:46:00.002-05:00

Dear 2008,

Thinking back to all you did, you've been an interesting year as far as years go. Started off with a fancy pants internship, then serving burritos and margaritas, then Yankee stadium and the end of college and final papers and final projects and just final things.

Then I said good bye to New York, said hello to Australia, said hello to my basement, said hello to a fancy serving job, said hello to 5 stitches on my finger, then good bye to the stitches, hello to a scar, good bye to the basement, good bye to the job and then re-hello to New York and hello to an apartment and a job, then quickly good bye to the apartment and the job, and then a quick hello to a new apartment and that's where we are now.

You were a year of expectations and of inevitabilities, with some surprises thrown in just for kicks. And now you make me wait. Just wait until 2009 when things are supposed to happen. I guess it's fitting that we're in a presidential transition period, because that's mainly what you've been 2008, a transition year.

So cheers 2008, and let's hope you elected someone who gets things done with 2009

Asher

Truth about Santa

2008-12-24T17:25:00.001-05:00

happy holidays all. here is a little known fact about our friend mr.
kringle. i hope you enjoy

No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of
organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and
germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa
has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world;
However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian
household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer
can run 15 miles per hour at the most.

The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile,
would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.

It's Beginning to look a lot like...

2008-12-22T00:19:00.002-05:00

Hannukah!

To all of you who celebrate, to all of you who don't, to all of you who have listened to Adam Sandler's song, or remember a Rugrat's Hannukah; to all of you, Jew, Goy, whatever, I wish you all jelly filled doughnuts, spinny plastic dreidels, sugar cookies shaped like menorahs and for the light of the candles to warm you if you're snowed in.

In times like these, I think we can all learn a lesson from the penny pinching Jews of our past who made 1 day's worth of oil last for 8 days.

Peace and good tidings to you all,

Asher

Now Follow me on This one...

2008-12-05T01:43:00.002-05:00

First, take this quiz --

Complete this headline from the BBC News website:"Pole dancing [...] at gallery"

A: Curators

B: Robots

C: Art students

Those of you who went out on a limb and said B, you would be oddly correct.

Now, take a moment to say those words in your head. "Robot pole dancing". Ok. Now say it out loud. It should be funny. You should be smiling. If you're at work and someone passed you by, they should be laughing. Robot Pole Dancing. The concept, idea, notion, mention and just sheer combination of those 3 words is comical.

Now, if you'll follow me on this international journey, read this article --

O, The British Are Coming

I would like someone to explain to me, in conversation or argument or a poem or an example from a movie or book or history lesson or something, but something to explain to me how the British can take the fun out of everything.

I don't know if it's more absurd that I think this is too absurd, or if it's too absurd that the Brits are making robot pole dancing serious contemporary art or that I can even have this discussion in my head and not explode.

Good night.

Happy Holidays

2008-11-28T17:58:00.002-05:00

So I got in the car this morning and this was the first story I heard on the radio:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7755278.stm

First off, the BBC's article focuses 1 paragraph about the man that was trampled to death by eager shoppers. The rest of the article is about sales and discounts and a recession. But not the man that died trying to open a door.

Now, I haven't been counting the signs of the apocalypse lately, but with all this Mayan talk of Dec. 21st 2012 coming, this event really doesn't lead me to believe the Mayans are wrong. Americans seem to have run out of ideas how to destroy each other. We've moved past nationalism, religion, sexism, racism, now we're on to commercialism. We're killing each other to get a 60% discount on toys and DVD players.

What worries me the most about this story is the fact that this was an unintentional death. A thief who robs a store and murders is one thing. It's another thing to push someone aside and step on their bodies, in a mass hysteria where all thoughts of decency and human nature go out the window in order to grab a gift, that's the most terrifying part of this story. That we're at a point now that we can turn into animalistic beasts because of a sale.

Call it what you want. The holiday spirit; cause of a recession; just one of those random thing; but I'd look into what the Mayans are talking about a little bit more.

The Emotion I Bring out in Women

2008-11-20T02:34:00.003-05:00

This scene takes place earlier this evening. I was at a show for singer/songwriters that my friend Tom was in. The crowd was very hipster and "cool" I guess. I also recently purchased a new coat, which I am quite fond of. The coat will keep anything warm in any climate, and has a really wooly hood for good measure.

So this is during a break between acts, I went outside with Larke to get some air, and while she was on the phone, a girl comes out and lights up a cigarette. She's obviously cold and shivering.

Shivering Girl: Nice coat.
Me: Thank you.
Shivering Girl: Bet you're toasty.
Me: I am, it's a really thick coat.
Shivering Girl: I dressed for fashion.
Me: I see.
(few seconds of shivering)
Shivering Girl: Fuck this shit.
(flicks her cigarette to the ground, storms inside)
Me: Ok.

What economy means

2008-11-04T20:35:00.002-05:00

For those of you who wonder just how or why economy works in society:

(Outside of the Bolt Bus, with service from NY to DC)
Woman: Can I get on the bus?
Bus Driver: Do you have a ticket?
Woman: No.
Bus Driver: Do you have some money?
Woman: Yes!
Bus Driver: Then you can get on the bus!

2008 World Champions

2008-10-30T01:22:00.003-04:00

"One pitch, one at bat, one play, one situation, think 'small' and 'big' things result, tough at-bats, lots of walks, stay up the middle with men on base, whatever it takes to 'keep the line moving' on offense, 27 outs on defense, the Mets know you're better than they are. They remember last year. You guys are never out of a game. Welcome the challenge that confronts you this weekend. You are the stars. Good luck. #20."

-- e-mail from Mike Schmidt to the Phillies, 1 week before the end of the regular season.

And now:

27 Outs Away

2008-10-27T02:38:00.003-04:00

So most of you should know that I'm a big baseball fan. Most of you should know that I'm a big Phillies fan. But what most of you don't know is what this feels like. Watching your baseball team in the World Series is a completely indescribable experience.

Ok, Asher whatever you say you nut. But it's very hard to really describe. I'll try and explain. So I played baseball when I was kid. My first team went undefeated, but we lost in the 1st round of the playoffs. I played in middle school and into high school. I think the sport itself is more pure than any other sport, and is the most mentally and physically challenging sport out there now. Maybe next to Australian Football.

So I grow up knowing baseball, watching baseball, and went up to see Phillies games in high school, just because my dad was from Philly so I decided they were my team. Bought a hat, and followed them ever since.

The players playing now, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, Cole Hamels, Brett Myers, all came up through the Philadelphia organization. That means they were brought in to the team as AA and AAA players, were groomed in our system and stayed with us into the beginnings of their careers. I've watched these guys grow over the years. I remember Chase Utleys first game and understanding that he would be our future. I remember watching a AAA Cole Hamels game highlights because he was our big prospect.

You go season in and season out taking strides and making moves to get better a little bit at a time. Watching losing seasons and rookies learning the game. Watch vets play through their careers. For 162 games, from April to September, waiting to see if they make the playoffs.

And well...once they make the playoffs, once Shane Victorino hits his first career grand slam against the best pitcher in the NL, once 40 year old Matt Stairs comes off the bench and belts a 2 run home run in the top of the 8th in a tied ball game, once Carlos Ruiz is a hero with a 45 foot dribbler down the line in the bottom of the 9th...once all that happens.

All that's left is game 5. At home. With our ace on the mound.

Tonight's Menu

2008-10-16T19:31:00.003-04:00

Eggplant Parmesean with Ziti pasta and tomato sauce. Spiced to cook. Diced tomatoes, chopped garlic, black pepper, red pepper, cayene pepper.

Ladies, if you're looking for a stay at home husband, my resume is expanding.

Top Meals of all time

2008-10-15T20:43:00.002-04:00

One perk of being unemployed is that I can spend time refining my domestic skills. Such as cooking. Brandon and I have made commitments to learn to being above average cooks, and so far so good.

When I came back to NY from home I came up here with a cooler filled with meats. Chicken, some meat pasta sauce, a whole frozen chicken and 2 1/2 pounds of salmon. So I've been planning out some recipes.

Tonight's menu was so delicious, it got me thinking about some of my top all time meals.

Let me try and explain tonight's experience:

Honey-Cajun Fried Chicken + Phillie's game - 2 boneless thighs and 2 chicken legs. I marinated the chicken with honey and garlic seasoning, and let it sit for about an hour. I made a flour mix with cayene pepper, lemon pepper, red pepper and black pepper. Then it was just a matter of pan frying them in some nice oil.

Add a whole sweet potato, coated with brown sugar, and a bowl of peas and corn, with some garlic seasoning, and you have a spectacular meal.

Now add in Game 5 of the NLCS. As I take a sweet and spicy and so delicious bite into a thigh, Jimmy Rollins hits a lead off home run. The game is still going on, but the Phillies winning their first NL Pennant since 1993 would make this arguably tops on the following list.

Top Meals of All Time:

1. Shwarma, hummus, salad, pita, no plates - A couple summers ago I went on my Birthright trip. Perhaps my favorite night was the night we spent in a Bedouin camp. Sitting on the ground, using your pita as a plate and filling it with the most tender, succulent beef/lamb, with the eggplant, cucumbers, tomatoes, hummus. 2 of them later, and spending the rest of the night smoking hukkah with Bedouins making conversation in a combination of Hebrew and English, one of the best nights I've ever had.

2. Big Mac, it's a big deal for me - I keep Kosher. I always have. This basically means I don't eat meat in fast food. So I've spent my entire life eating fish sandwiches at McDonalds, bean burritos at Taco Bell and tuna at Subway. But in Israel, all meat is Kosher, thus, McDonalds is kosher. I've had 2 Big Macs in my time so far, and they are amazing. There really is no greater pleasure than ordering a Big Mac with a large Coke. I thoroughly enjoy it and will do so in the future.

3. Yom Kippur break fast, 8th grade - The more I think about this, the more I realize most of these meals will be somehow religion based, thus proving that Jews are all about food. Anyway, after Yom Kippur (the holiest day of the Jewish year) you eat a light meal, because you've been fasting all day. This meals bagels, blintzes, maybe fish. But when you're 13 and you're fasting for the first time, you don't realize why this is. I had bagels with white fish, cheese blintzes, cookies, cake...and I felt fantastic...until the day after. The easiest way to learn how to eat after a fast is to remember that stomach ache of the next day. I still remember those blintzes being the best I've ever had...at least at the time.

4. First meal as a college graduate - Ben's Deli, right after the Tisch graduation. This meal had the added bonus of being with the Schuldbergs, a nice delight and fun experience of being there for their first Ben's experience. Ben's has outdone the 2nd Ave. Deli in my family's eyes over the years between portion size, price and quality of meat. To celebrate being a real person, I had the following: a pastrami burger with fries. That would be a giant hamburger topped with hot pastrami. It's as good and fattening and filling as it sounds. After that meal, I felt like a real person.

The Phillies are winning 3-0 at the current moment, making this current meal very popular.

Go Phillies.

Wayne/Bartlett '08

2008-10-07T22:03:00.002-04:00

Apparently this year is an election year. I've gone back and forth about the candidates, policies, it's so much fun. I've developed a sort of bipartisanship with politics recently and I've been trying to decide if I should vote.

Before some of you jump on me and stab me with your Obama pins, I challenge most people to actually know who they're voting for before they vote for them. I'm all for universal health care, but money doesn't appear out of no where. Where's it come from? The upper class tax cuts? What's that mean? I have yet to hear someone explain to me, or any media station, HOW anyone will fix the economy. I watched about half an hour of tonight's debate before both my mom and I were like, ok they're both done saying new things, let's watch House.

Putting policy aside, I think Obama is a better candidate for our country in terms of confidence. America needs someone to be confident in before anything else. We need a reason to buy a Ford and stop buying Chinese stock. I think people will rally around Obama sooner than they will rally around Mcain. Does that mean one is a better leader than the other? I don't know.

Then when you look at the VP race...well, all goes out the window. Biden is a solid candidate who can't get a sentence out and Palin can't finish a sentence without winking. And you really have to picture either of them as President. Mcain is 72 and I'll be the first to say it, Obama is black. Both of them are just as likely, in my mind, to not finish out their presidency. Do you want 4 years of Biden/Pelosi? Palin/Pelosi? I think the latter has a nice ring to it, just for comedy's sake.

Either way, I have until next Tuesday to register to vote. I'm not registered, nope. Didn't vote last election, so I guess you can blame me for single handedly keeping Bush in office. Yeah yeah yeah. If everyone went by the theory that their 1 vote didn't matter then no one would vote. But the truth is, that's not going to happen. I could not vote and no one would know the difference. Maryland would still stay democratic and everyone's lives would go on.

I'll go to the DMV tomorrow and register. But I don't know if I'm still voting. How's the write in for Bruce Wayne sound? Or Jeb Bartlett? Or Bill Pullman from Independence Day.

There's only 1 October

2008-10-07T16:17:00.002-04:00

Today is a day that I will break boundaries. I, Asher Novek, am blogging from a bus. That's right, I'm on a bus, online, also playing online poker, and posting on my blog. Technology is such that busses now come fully equipped with Wifi. And very comfortable leather seats.

But I'm not here to promote the Bolt Bus (service to DC for under 20 dollars!). I'm not really sure why I'm here, but in the mean time, I'll just update a bit on what's going on.

Most important, I have moved back up to New York. I moved up because I had a really cheap apartment opportunity and a couple of job offer. Within 3 days of moving up to NY, I lost all of them.

There was some miscommunication between the landlord and the other room mates. Here's how the conversation went down

Me: Hi, I'm Asher, I'm going to be living here now.
Tony (old and Italian): You can't live here.
Me: What? Rachel's been talking to you for weeks about me coming here...
Tony: No.
Me: Um, her dad talked to you last week about this...
Tony: No.
Me: I'm sorry, is there something you want me to do?
Tony: No.
Me: Do you want me to run a credit check?
Tony: No.
Me: Raise the rent?
Tony: No.
Me: Any reason at all why you're saying no?
Tony: No.

So I spent the next few days scrambling for a place and luck would have it that Brandon has an extra room, sort of. So I've moved in to his dining room, which ironically has more space than the other room I would be living in, and will be paying the same for rent. Plus, he brought up his old Super Nintendo, and we're going through all the classics. Donkey Kong Country is up now, Mario next.

Job wise, I was going to go back and work with Ed over at Technicolor, but because of a looming actor's strike they've had to cut back on personelle because no one's shooting features right now. So I'm sort of hanging out, waiting for them to get work in for me to help them out on.

Basically, I'm just living in NY, earning my keep playing poker online and as Dustin always tells me, just living the American dream.

I have October fully paid for and I still have money left for food, so I'll explore some more employment opportunities and enjoy NY. The way I see if, I worked for 16 years of my life, and really worked my ass off the final 2 years of college, so a few months of lounging is ok. Plus, Brandon and I are making each other write, so I'm not being completely useless.

So for now, I'm grinding the 6.50 Turbos on Full Tilt, writing my screenplay and waiting to hear about my grants.

Ta for now, and have an easy Yom Kippur

Does a movie need to be French to be done well?

2008-09-25T21:28:00.002-04:00

A few months ago I talked about how much I love French film. A few days ago I saw "Tell No One" and am now questioning my ability to make films on account of my lack of being French.

"Tell No One" is as such: Man and woman go to their child hood make out spot by a lake. She swims back to land, we hear a scream and the man rushes to shore. As soon as he gets there BAM, knocked out cold and falls into the water. Fade in 8 years later, and after a little exposition, he gets home on the 8th year anniversary of his wife's death to find an e-mail. He opens the email and it links him to a streaming video where his wife walks into view, looks up at the camera and walks off.

Then it goes from there. Hooked? You will be. This film is one of those movies that just builds and builds with mystery and just has you wondering, "will the ending be satisfying enough for all this set up?" Oh yeah. Possibly the most satisfied I've ever been by the end of a movie.

It's quite stunning how this movie leaves you. I even almost got a little teary eyed. The best advice I can give you is to not research this movie more than I've already told you. Knowing less will just make this experience that much better.

God speed

I Need Someone to tell me if Revolver is a good movie

2008-09-11T19:40:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I just watched Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" for a second time.

I can still remember my exact feelings after seeing it for a first time. I saw it alone, expecting to go into the theater for a normal Guy Ritchie movie, you know, shoot em up, cool gangster movie. Then I noticed that Luc Besson had his hands in it, produced and "adapted by" credits, and I was like, awesome, with cool French stylings.

After I saw it, my exact reaction was, "huh." It basically has all the makings of a Ritchie movie, gangsters, cons, Jason Statham, but with a cool existential twist. It focuses a lot more on what a con is, what power is, what fear is, what con-men mentality is and how it all percolates around in our heads. It's really really internal, but I don't know if it's good.

It's fun, it's unusual, it plays a lot with time and what we perceive. I'm just not sure if it's...good. I can't really tell if I'm impressed with the concept of getting into the mind of a con man, or with the entire movie. Ritchie does a lot of really cool things with form and sound that I picked up on this 2nd time around, and he does a lot of his own fun things with slow motion and voiceover, but I think it all makes sense and plays into the theme. I think.

So if anyone would do me the favor, watch it and tell me what you think. I have it on my computer if anyone wants to watch it or wants a copy

How To Be A Good Diner

2008-08-29T17:44:00.002-04:00

As some of you know, I currently work in a restaurant, and have worked in some form of service industry since I was 15. There are some things most people know about being a customer in a restaurant, but since most people in the world have not worked in some form of service industry, I want to empart upon you some tips. Here are some do's and don'ts that you might not really know about.

#1 - Tipping on a reduced check: Alright you pennypinchers, for those of you who can't afford things at 100% cost and use coupons, or those of you that complain enough to get a meal comped or some % off, what do you do when you tip the waiter? Say you had a 100 dollar meal and a 50 dollar gift certificate. Your waiter was fine, you think 15% is fine, so you tip...$7.50? Incorrect. Tip your waiter on the ORIGINAL bill. If I serve you 100 dollars worth of food, you should tip me on 100 dollars. Your waiter didn't give you 50% of his time, don't give him 50% of his tip.

I had a couple just this afternoon, each ordered a glass of wine, entree, very pleasant. They each had a 20 dollar coupon, so their 45 dollar meal came out to around $4.50. They left $6 dollars and left. To them I'm sure they thought they left a nice 30% tip. But in actuality, they left a 3% tip. Thanks for that ladies. Please never come back again.

#2 - Remember a % is a %, not a #: So this old adage of tipping %15 is a nice bar, but it's really a suggestion. You have to keep perspective about your bill, the amount of work the waiter does, how big a restaurant it is and how much of a pain in the ass you've been. Also, PLEASE don't be a smug tipper. If you go into a late night diner, say you're on a date and you order a couple of shakes and an order of fries. A $16 dollar bill, say you want to be impressive in front of your girl and leave a $20. Wow, look at you, that's a 25% tip. I tell you what, your date might be impressed, but the waiter or waitress just got $4 dollars. In reality, that's still $4. If you want to really leave a nice tip, think about quantitative numbers.

General rule of thumb I use, if it's just me at a diner and I want to be a nice person, I leave tips in 8-12 dollar increments. Regardless of your bill, keep in mind how much you're actually leaving.

On that same note, if there's 4 of you and you're in a nice place and you've been hanging around for an hour or so, tip well based on %s, not #s. $20 dollars may seem like a nice tip, but not when you've racked up a $140 bill and your waiter has prepared a nice birthday cake presentation and didn't get anything wrong.

#3 - Are you a person? So am I!: This one is sort of obvious, but you gotta remember it. Waiter, bus boys, hostesses, cooks, managers are all people. They have legs, eyes, ears just like you do. The bus boys have 2 hands and they aren't super heroes. They can only hold so much at once. Waiters have brains just like you do, we can forget things. I'm sure you've forgotten something before, so if your waiter forgets the ketchup or a refill of something, don't yell at them. Don't bring the manager over unless service was terrible. If the food was wrong, cold, had a hair in it and gave you food poisoning while in the restaurant, then complain. If you come during what appears to be a dinner rush and you feel like food is taking a while to get to your table...don't ask for 15% off.

#4 - Watch "Waiting": While it's not a perfect movie, and while I may love it more because of Ryan Reynolds, it is a great movie that gets some of the mentality about working in a restaurant. Take this movie into perspective. It's a comedy. It's surely based on true events. All of those characters, the principles and the customers, are all real and all exist.

These are just some things to keep in mind when dining. Nothing is set in stone. Each time you go out will be different. But keep some of these in the back of your head. For your sake and ours.

Aussie Green

2008-08-27T00:20:00.002-04:00

(Note: I actually wrote this while in Sydney, right after I went through this art piece)

So one thing that we got to doing in Sydney was see an art installation in the Opera House. I'll try and relive the experience best as I can for you, but it was quite unique.

You walk in to the main concert hall and it's pitch black. There's a soft mist and some warm moving glows. I switched on the little miner's light I was given and I walked in to the jungle of Sydney. The entire lower levels and stage area were taken over by trees and plants and fog machines. I just sort of walked around through the paths, up and down the stairs and through the aisles. All around you is plant life ranging from shrubs to ferns and trees. You can't really see anyone around you because everyone has a little light around their face and it's too dark to focus on anyone's particular face. So you're basically just walking around with faceless people all around you through paths of overwhelming trees. The initial reaction I had was, wow this is a lot of shrubbery to put into a theater. Then I let it sort of take over me and let the senses kick in. Touching the trees and plants, becoming a part of the installation as opposed to just viewing it. Taking in a soft music from a guitarist somewhere around. It was sort of humbling, almost like walking through a faux-jungle. But the mystique and serenity sort of morphed.

Then I started thinking about it on a different level. What was the point? Maybe the point, at least what I initially got out of it, was to show off the base, animalistic center we are all akin to. In the middle of everything commercial, everything huge and loud, is a soft forest. In the middle of the every day hustle and bustle, there is a calming tree and fog. I let that feeling sink in for a bit. Then I realized that I hated the term "hustle and bustle" and that this seemed like a pretty on the nose way of going about it. I have no idea what the intention of this experimental artist was, but I started looking at something new. I noticed a few things.

First there was a moment where I saw a guy emerge from what looked like a cool hidden passageway. I looked down, ready to embark and he caught me and said, "that's not a normal path. Sorry." Then there were the few camera men around I presume taking in people's expressions and what not for a DVD of some sort. These weren't really reminders to me that I wasn't actually in a jungle, I'm not really that shallow to say that I got so entrapped that I was pulled out by a guy with a camera. But it made me realize that we can't recreate everything. We can't recreate what a jungle is actually like, all we can do is make artist's interpretations.

Earlier on my trip I swam in the Great Barrier Reef and touched a turtle. You can't recreate that. There are always going to be some things in nature that man can't remake. We can describe them and explain them and tell stories about them and document them and take pictures of them, but we'll never actually be able to create what nature can. And that, to me, proves that there is some sort of greater power out there making things that we just can't. Man can create amazing architecture and amazing advances in medicine, but we can't accurately create a jungle. We can't create experiences of nature, as much as we try. And that's what I left the Forest with. A sense of humility that I felt when I got out of the water after being feet away from sharks. A sense that there are things in this world that man will never be able to comprehend or make or control. I kind of like that feeling.

Larke Inspired

2008-08-05T01:19:00.002-04:00

So for those of you who don't read Larke's blog, she discussed a recent Obama ad and how smug it is. I'm not going to get into how smug it is, because I think she hit the ball on the nose.

What I would like to point out is its similarity to another series of ads.

vs.

So this November, remember to vote Pepto.

And for the record, I think pretty much every campaign ad I've ever seen has been terrible and made me never want to vote for that person, Republican or Democrat.

20 dollars to anyone who can present to me one that doesn't make me want to flee the country.

One more update? Why not

2008-08-02T05:14:00.002-04:00

How bout an update about me? Sure. I've started a job working as a waiter again at Timpanos. Timpanos Chop Shop and Sea Food Grill and Martini Bar. Lots of expensive steaks and wines and martinis. I should be making decent money once I get out of training and people get back from vacations and such. We'll see. So far it doesn't suck, so that's pretty much a plus.

Let's see, what else. I've been running well playing poker, except for tonight, but that's ok. It's all about managing your swings and getting your money in when it's good. After that, it's not up to you, it's up to the poker gods. Or the Full Tilt gods. Whoever you pray to.

The next few weeks are going to be exciting. The Mummy 3, Pineapple Express...Dark Knight again...could be good.

I started writing again, or, I started to buy books as research for what I want to write next. Almost done with character work and the basic outline. Should be able to get a solid beat outline soon. And I have a couple 600 page books to read. Hooray. Now, to find some time to read them.

Till then, keep it real

Underrated Burma

2008-08-02T05:06:00.002-04:00

I'm not going to get into a huge thing about the Dark Knight. Mainly because my feelings about it should be pretty obvious, and I don't want to let my inner fan boy erupt on my blog. So what I'll do is just quote what I feel will become the most underrated monologue in movies:

Alfred: A long time ago I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of local leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months we never met anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.

Bruce: So why steal them?

Alfred: Well because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical. Like money. They cant be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Then, after a lot of things happen and explode:

Bruce: That bandit, did you ever catch him?
Alfred: Yes.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down

What Do Ya Say Before Ya Say G'Day?

2008-08-02T04:29:00.005-04:00

G'Day! Is the answer. Now just imagine some very basic and not great folk guitar around that. And repeat about 40 times. There you go. Now you have Jonah and my favorite song from Australia. Sung by some weird drunk guy at the BBQ area of our hotel/lodge area in Ayres Rock. He was priceless, as was his song, "G'Day!".

I think the last time I left off, we were leaving the exotic island of Tahiti and traveling West. Here's an interesting tidbit -- we left Tahiti on Wednesday, July 21st at around midnight, and arrived in Sydney at 10am, Friday morning. Where'd Thursday go? It went to the wayside of the International Dateline. No July 22nd for me. It's ok, I'd get another day later, don't worry.

First thing we get to once in the airport is a terminal area, basic shops and such. Then I see a "Hungry Jacks". Upon further investigation I find that Hungry Jacks is actually Burger King, but Aussie style. And by Aussie style I mean, well, it's just called Hungry Jacks. I'll let you see the comparison:

After some investigation, Jonah wound find out that before Burger King came along, there was already a place in Australia called the Burger King, so they had to use a different name for copyright reasons. Way to go Burger King for being the bigger man and not buying them out. Or way to get Aussie Burger King for not selling out. Either way, now we get Hungry Jacks.

Well we weren't in Sydney long, as we were just transfering planes to Cairnes. We went from one aquatic town to another.

Cairnes is basically a surfing beach bum town, but it had a nice vibe to it. It's possible I was so jet lagged that everyone just seemed really chill, but I think it was a real vibe. We weren't really there for the town anyway. We were there for the reef. Swimming in the Great Barrier Reed has always been one of my life goals. Didn't really disappoint.

Getting sea sick out to the reef was great too. As many ginger pills as I could swallow didn't really help too much. But once we settled down and reached out dock, pier thing, I was gravy. As opposed to the Tahitian method of just jumping in, here we had instructions as how to put on a vest, how to use the snorkel, etc. Felt a little better about jumping in this time. Now, the hardest part about writing about things like this is trying to explain what it was like objectively versus fantastically.

So - In my mind - I swam around in the middle of the ocean, fish around me. I saw deep past the reef and into the deep ocean. I felt completely in control of myself while being completely submerged into something that had complete control over me.

Reality - Swam in a sectioned off area with life guards on duty and a life vest in about 15-20 foot deep water.

In my mind - I took part in this sea walk thing in which I walked on the floor of the ocean around hundreds of fish and turtles. I touched and fed beautiful schools of fish that seemed from the prehistoric era. Seeing some of these creatures literally up close and personally really makes you think about evolution and where we all came from.

Reality - I was hooked up to this astronaut type machine that made it impossible for me to not breathe while people around me fed these fish to keep them around me.

For the record, I enjoy my imagination a lot more. So let's just ignore reality for a while and see just what I did --

After some more snorkeling, we headed back.

The next day we went from the water element to the forest element. We took a cable car tour type thing over a rainforest, and ended up in an Aboriginal village, complete with semi-keetchy tour. It was actually very interesting being around actual indigenous people, not just Disney style tour guides. Here, I also learned that I am a fantastic boomerang-ist. So good in fact, that I got to keep my boomerang. I read that there's a boomerang association and they have a headquarters in DC. You can certainly bet they'll be receiving a call from me.

After all the water and forest we could handle, it was on to the next element - land/rock/sand.

Ayres Rock. We went from the oceans to smack dab in the middle of the desert. Literally. Ayres Rock is pretty much just a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. It's a huge, gorgeous red rock in the middle of nowhere.

It's quite amazing out there. If you ever travel down to Australia, I would recommend making the trip out there. It may just seem like a huge rock, but it's...well, a really big rock. There's also a lot of interesting vegetation and animal life that lives in conditions that you really wouldn't think support life.

While there we took a star gazing tour. Some of you may or may not know me well enough to know I'm sort of a space nerd, so this way pretty amazing for me. To say that I saw a lot of stars is sort of understating things. Coming from NY, where you can sometimes make out the moon through the smog, and Maryland where you can be lucky to see Venus, finally seeing stars was great. But not just the stars I'm used to. Southern Hemisphere stars, of which there are apparently a lot more. Who takes the time to count them all, I don't know, but I do know I've seen more than you (unless you're Yorrick and you live in Australia). Through telescopes we also got to see Mars (which I pointed out to my parents before the guide did), Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, Saturn really does have rings.

I'll leave you for now with one of my new all time favorite pictures from Ayres Rock.

Ta

In Which I'm Selling Off All My Possessions

2008-07-21T09:22:00.002-04:00

I figure that while I get my trip posts out, I'll get some up to date ones as well. Damn backlogging.

Anyway. I recently (two days ago) sold my iPod. I sold my iPod for a couple reasons. Mainly that I don't really listen to anything anymore now that I'm home. I don't need to walk anywhere and I don't have the jogging while iPodding thing down, so I decided to just sell the thing. I thought about buying a new, smaller one with the money and then realized - what the hell do I need an iPod for? Then I thought, "is this me selling off everything I own before I leave the country, wherever I go?" Then I wondered, "do people do that?"

So I don't think I'll be the person that comes back from a life changing experience and sells everything he owns...I think I'll sell everything I own before I leave. Not really sure what that means, but it may happen. Next item up for debate - my PS2. Big, big, big decision there.

I Have Now Been to 3/4 Hemispheres

2008-07-21T08:00:00.004-04:00

So apparently I went on this trip. Overall, outstanding trip. If you don't know me or my family at all, we take big trips. We've traveled all over the US, mainly the western parts - Arizona, Utah, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Montana, Colorado, etc. Usually national parks are the mainstays for us. Then we started traveling through Europe a few times. This trip was our most adventurous yet, going down under for three weeks. Because of the way the tickets worked out, according to my dad, we could have either stayed over in Tahiti or New Zealand for 5 days. After some debate, we chose the place with huts on the ocean as opposed to the hillsides of Hobbits.

For some perspective, here is the best map I could find of Tahiti's relation to the rest of the world --

As you may or may not be able to read (the resolution on the picture sucks, I'll try and find a better one), Tahiti is roughly 4100 miles from LA. That's an 8 hour flight from LA to Tahiti. Then, it's almost 3000ish miles to Sydney, another 6 hours. To say it's in the middle of nowhere is giving nowhere a lot of credit.

So we get to Tahiti, where the weather is 85 degrees and sunny everyday, and take our cab to our hotel/resort. Also, it should be known, we're not really resort people. We don't really just sit on the beach. We like to explore places as much as we can. But we quickly learned that Tahiti isn't really a place to sight see. It's a place to sit on the beach.

What I noticed about Tahiti is as such, for anyone who's thinking of visiting, or writing a middle school report about Tahiti. The economy of Tahiti is based on primarily 2 markets - tourism and produce. There's a huge wonderful market with fresh fish and fruit and chocolate and everything. Then there's all the tourism, the hotels, the taxis, the boat tours etc. There's no downtown, no nightlife, no malls, no clubs, no Target or real commercial center. There's one hospital and some schools, and a lot of construction, but that's really it. To display this in a microcosm, here is a public service job I found out about. The main road into town consists of 4 lanes divided by those little Jersey wall dividers. At normal hours of the day, it's 2 lanes both ways. But during rush hour, they make it 3 lanes with traffic. How? There's a man who gets into his little truck late at night and moves each divider over a lane. Then after rush hour he moves them back. Then back to 3 lanes the other way. Then back again. And so forth and so on. And that's his job. That's a job with shifts and management. That's what there is to do in Tahiti. Eat, fish, drive a taxi and move concrete from one side of the road to another. It may not sound like a lot, but it's life and they seem to have it down pretty well.

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One of the most interesting things that happened to us was going to synagouge on Saturday. Yes, there's a Jewish community in Tahiti. They have a shul. They meet every week. They have a Hebrew school. And we went there. It was interesting because it was a combination of French/Sefardi (non-European style of Judaism) and Orthodox. So men sat separately but it was very laid back. After the service we were invited to someones house for lunch where we were warmly greeted and I was served schnapps upon schnapps. How could I be so rude to not drink the whiskey the old man next to me kept pouring in my cup? Eventually he started pouring beer into my glass when it still had whiskey in it...so I had to monitor it a little more. Nevertheless, an interesting lunch.

One fun note - this synagouge would be the last synagouge in the world, so to speak. Tahiti is the closest land mass to the international date line. So in any given day, this would be the last Jewish community to celebrate a holiday. Just one fun and interesting play on time I got to have.

Also in Tahiti, I started my "Things I Never Thought I Would Do" list. This list was really kicked off when we went on a boat tour of the neighboring island, Mo'orea. We get on this boat that seats maybe 20 of us, mainly couples on their honeymoon and my family, and this very overly stereotyped island man gives us a little tour and such. Then they stop the boat about 100 feet or so from the shore and one of the guys jumps out and swims out with a rope. Then we get a little shpeil about swimming with the sharks. How they're real, don't kick them, and don't pee in the water. Then - go ahead, jump in.

Basically, that's it. Grab your goggles, jump in, grab the rope and pray. Now, I'm not an aquatic person by any real stretch of the imagination but I figured, what the hell.

Here you can see me and my extreme close proximity to the deadly super man eating shark --

In all reality, the sharks were being herded on the other side of the rope from us tourists, and I'm pretty sure I'd have to kick one pretty square in the jaw for it to become hostile...nevertheless, I swam with sharks. From there it was on to sting rays, which I can say are much more docile than sharks. Swimming with sting rays is sort of like getting into 4 foot deep water with giant bath toys that swim under your feet. They're not really slimey at all, rather smooth actually. But they still look so prehistoric and unreal that it's just trippy. Much like the sharks, they're constantly being fed so they literally just glide all around you. For the first 10 minutes or so all you could hear was the following --

Oh....Oh...AH! Ah...Aw...AH!...Ah...hahaha...AH!

Once you realize they are of little to no harm, they're really kind of cute. Once that got old we got back into the boat, did some more touring, ate some coconuts and went back ashore. Alive and with every limb we came out there with.

I don't want to say that swimming feet away from a shark changed my life, because I'm not that naive. I didn't go into the water one person and emerge a new person. I'm not that arrogant. But if you ever thought that I would say that I swam next to a shark, well, then you didn't know me very well. I think all that I gathered from all of this can be found in a conversation I had with my dad the day before we went. My dad, if you don't know, is worse than any Jewish mother you can imagine in terms of worrying.

Me: (Some joke about how my dad is a pansy about getting into the ocean with sharks)
Dad: You mean you're not scared at all?
Me: I'm terrified. The ocean scares the shit out of me.
Dad: Then why are you so excited?
Me: Because it scares the shit out of me.

Such was the beginning of my beginning to do new and weird things list. My basic rule of thumb throughout the trip was: will I be able to do this any time in the near future? No? Ok, sign me up.

That was basically it for Tahiti. Some more beaches and such and then we were off to Cairnes, via Sydney. More on that later.

Ta

Back in an American time zone

2008-07-13T12:15:00.000-04:00

So I'm back. I have a few big posts coming, filled with pictures and the like. But right now all my mind can muster is the following.

I was in Sydney on Saturday, July 11th at 11am. Then the plane left and we flew 3 hours to Aukland, where it was 4pm local time. Then we left at 5pm local time, and 12 hours later arrived in LAX at 11:00am, Saturday, July 11th.

There you have it folks.

I, Asher Novek, have traveled through time.

Vacation

2008-06-19T05:08:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I'm off to Australia via Tahiti via LA. 1 day in LA, I think 4 days in Tahiti and then to Aussie.

Also, I placed 17th out of 1447 in a $10 tourney. That means in the past 48 hours I've gone from 40 dollars in my account to 183. Not a bad run. Too bad vaca will cool me down.

Well, ta for now. Back in 3 weeks. As Mike Sexton always says, "May your cards be live and your pots monsters"

Peace

I can't believe I'm watching this, but...

2008-06-17T04:20:00.000-04:00

"Cool as Ice" is a movie that needs to be seen by everyone. Right now. Mainly so I don't feel like the only person on Earth who's seen it. Lemme break it down for you.

This is the snippet that my DVR says: "Cool as Ice - Tepid biker-meets-girl tale starring rapper Vanilla Ice". Dude, for real. Made in 1991 and directed by a guy who was a Playboy photographer, here's the plot so far: Vanilla Ice and his motorcycle gang friends (3 overly stereotyped Black teenagers, to the point that I find it offensive) drive around and one of their bikes breaks down in this small town. Where Ice meets this girl, Kathy. He then proceeds to wow everyone, including her 10 year old younger brother, with his ability to rap, huge colorful parachute pants and yellow motorcycle. Currently on the screen is a montage of Ice and Kathy "dancing"/"playing"/"flirting" in an unbuilt housing construction site.

Seriously, this movie needs to be seen by everyone. There's also some sub plot going on where some gangsters want to kill or extort Kathy's dad. But they just kissed in a great 360 degree rotation shot. So that's not really important. Except I'm sure in the near future the subplot will come back and effect the plot in some fashion. But Kathy's kind of hot, Ice lost his shirt, and all I can wait for is another outfit for him to wear. I really want them to have sex just so he has to put another pair of pants on.

Just look at the poster, you'll see :

Please see this movie so you can talk about it with me. Or make a drinking game out of it with me. Or help me find it on DVD. Or help me write letters to make this a Criterion. Or to make me feel less like a loser.

"Submit" became clickable

2008-06-16T04:42:00.000-04:00

A couple things.

First, my facebook account has been locked or suspended, or whatever they do to facebook accounts. I'm not really sure why. I sent them a complaint a few days ago asking why my profile picture keeps getting smaller and smaller (anyone else notice this?) and I received this e-mail today:

Hi,

I would be happy to look into this matter further, however, Your account has been suspended because the information you provided indicated that you may be ineligible to use the site. Please reply to this email with the following information, and we will reevaluate your status:

-First Name
-Last Name
-Your Correct Birth date (month/day/year)

Once I have received this information, I will gladly reactivate your account for you and assist you with your original inquiry. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Thanks for your understanding,

Zoe
User Operations Analyst
Facebook

I'm not really sure what this is about. Maybe someone found my Conan pictures offensive? Maybe I've lost at Scrabble so many times I'm suspended? Who knows. Either way, all is not lost. I have a friend on the inside who will look into this for me. It pays to have friends in high places. Thanks Skip.

In real news, I submitted my proposal for a government grant tonight. I won't get in to many of the details, but suffice to say I've been spending the past few weeks working on it. Tonight the word "submit", which has been greyed out on the very old PC grant input system, finally became bold. It took me a few minutes to actually click on it. I hadn't realized it, but this has been why I haven't been able to sleep recently. At least, I hope it is so I can finally sleep again before my vacation. This is just one of those things that, if it happens, my life will be so completely different. And if it doesn't, well, then you move on to the next hand.

Because in the end, it's like the old sports adage, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it matters how you play the game."

I'll leave you with this:

I Don't Like the NBA but I like this

2008-06-14T18:23:00.000-04:00

La Papillion

2008-06-14T01:43:00.000-04:00

If you know me at all, or if you just read the prior post, you know I'm famous for always watching terrible, underthought, lacking movies. I'm here to report to you that I actually do have some taste, and I want to talk about one of the more fantastic films I have ever seen, "Le Scaphandre et la Papillion" or The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. The film tells the true life story about Jean-Do, a journalist who suffers a stroke and develops a rare disorder that destroys his ability to move anything except his eyes. The story told here is how he goes on his life and more incredibly how he dictates a novel.

The film is very stylistically French, and it works so well for this story. Most of the film is told through his point of view, including his blinks, his tears, any blurred vision. We don't actually see Jean for a good 15 minutes into the film. I don't need to get in to how the technique brings you in, that's fairly obvious. I want to talk about how moving and beautiful it was. I'm not an emotional person, but that's the only word I can think to describe what this film is. Emotion played out on film. There's fear, anger, frustration, love, happiness, success and by golly, you go up and down with every character in this damn film.

I'm rarely actually affected by a film. So I've thought back to the past few times a film has had a real affect on me and I've found a common thread. French films have a way of getting under my skin, as thick as it is. Papillion has nestled an immediate place inside of me, and not too long ago Jacque Tati's "Playtime" also became one of my favorite movies instantly. Then of course there's "Jules et Jim", "Rules of the Game" and I realized a few months ago, when I watched it again on the big screen with only myself, a friend and a teacher, Eternal Sunshine has a special place inside me as well. Now, there are a lot of French films I detest (Science of Sleep, this one about three people I saw with Brandon once, some others), but for some reason, sometimes, they get to me.

Don't let me fool you. I'm still the old, bitter, jaded man who will watch I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (yeah it's real, apparently). But if you want to try and evoke emotion out of me, do it in French.

Some movies and some help

2008-06-13T17:15:00.000-04:00

So I've been trying to figure out what to start writing, if anything. And I'm looking for inspiration in...well, the usual places. Here are a couple movies I've seen recently for the first time:

"Big Nothing" starring Simon Pegg and David Schwimmer. This was a very odd movie. It's basically about Pegg convincing Schwimmer to go along with him on a scheme to blackmail a priest for a boatload of money. Then a cute blond girl gets in on the deal. Then everything starts going wrong. They go to the priest's house and Pegg is held up at gun point, Schwimmer messed something up and gets to the house and sees the priest on the ground and with no signs of Pegg, drags him and dumps his body in a septic tank. Then it turns out he wasn't really dead, then they find more dirty secrets, then a cop shows up, then the girl shows up, etc etc etc. It's basically, what I like to call a snowball movie. There's no real plot per se, it just keeps escalating and moving along. It's all cause and effect. Much like movies I have made. In fact, this was so reminiscent of things I have done in the past, I even started to notice lines and jokes that I've used in scripts. I'm not sure if that says good things for me or bad things for this movie, or both. But it's pretty much the kind of movie you would expect a recent college graduate to make...if they could get Simon Pegg and David Schwimmer. It's actually an interesting role for Pegg, who's just a sleeze ball douchebag, and good at it. Either way, it's the perfect "if it's ok TV on a Saturday one afternoon I'll keep it on while I do something else" movie.

"Countdown" starring Tank Girl and the London brother that wasn't in Mallrats. Also, it was just on. It's about a 30 something white male, London, who threatens to blow up a large chunk of some city and Tank Girl, Lori something, is the edgy female cop who's going to take him down. I've started to really pick up on this one aspect of movies - whether they sound like movies or whether they sound like people. This sounded like a movie. It's something I was taught, subconsciously, but pick up on. Like a guy who's supposed to be a crazed, genius uni-bomber asking a cop "so what do you think love is", is just, well, a little...dumb. Don't see this movie, it's not even witty. Nor does it have Simon Pegg.

"Lucky Number Slevin" starring Josh Hartnett in a bathrobe, Bruce Willis is a miscast role, Ben Freaking Kingsley playing a rabbi and Morgan Freeman being evil. Nothing bad right? Eh...kind of. It's a pretty standard gangster type movie. Josh Hartnett gets mistaken for his friend and then has to kill someone and owes Kingsley a lot of money. Mobsters, guns, Lucy Liu for some reason, and eh I guess quirky clever dialogue. It's a lot of that for about 75 minutes. Then there's about 15 minutes of action. Then there's about 30 minutes of explaining this whole big twist. Basically, here's what probably happened: the writer said, I have this cool idea for a story but I want to seem really smart, so I'll just make everything in the entire movie seem like it was building up to this one twist. That's all it is. You can watch the last 25-30 minutes and get the same experience as watching the whole thing.

See, it's all about where you want to start your movie. Do you want to write it for a character? For a story? Or for one gimmick? Big Nothing seems like there was no goal in mind, like it was written on the fly, again, like I wrote. Slevin seems to be written just to seem smarter than it actually is. It reminded me some of Smokin Aces, in that there's no real reason for the plot to unfold until the last 10-15 minute "explanation" section of the movie. I'm not sure when that became part of the 3 act structure, but it should be removed fast. So I've looked over my list again and I'm still not sure which one I want to start. After relooking, I have one core thing I want to get at in each one...I think. Instead of picking numbers at random, which served its purpose of making me rethink all my ideas, I'll give a brief theme for each and then ask you, the reader, to see which one intrigues you the most.

1. Drama, character based, dark.

2. Horror, creepy.

3. Drug movie, NOT Requiem.

4. Romantic comedy, my way.

5. Revenge movie.

6. Drama, character based, no plot.

7. Poker movie, road movie.

*8. Crime, thriller.

Ok, now, give me something to do.

No Pills

2008-06-07T05:48:00.000-04:00

So this is the, oh I dunno, 4th or so night in a row where I can't seem to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Normally it's ok, watching a movie till 4 or so, going on the internet till 5 or so and then waking up around 2 or so. But I gotta tell ya, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially coming off of a semester where I was up, out and productive by 9am. I was a regular Dunkin Doughnuts coffee, bagel sometimes muffin guy, 2 eggs on a roll, tea and I'm good for the day guy and it wasn't so bad. If it was possible for me to not sleep...ever, I'd just go with that.

But this isn't the fun kind of I'm staying up all night and having fun, or I can't stop writing or I can't stop playing video games fun non sleep. I want to sleep, I just can't. I've been out partying until 8am before, but at least I was doing something. Now I have no where to go out to. I am making Danny go out somewhere with me tomorrow, probably just to a movie, but I gotta get out of houses. I want to sleep so I can do stuff tomorrow and I won't take pills, mainly because Wren told me to try not doing it. She also recommended tea which I have yet to purchase. Then again, she also suggested yoga, something I don't think I'll do. Maybe I will, seemed to work for her.

Or I can try something else. Someone reply with a number 1 through 7. I have 7 different screenplay ideas I want to write, but don't know which one I want to write first. Someone decide randomly for me. That would make life easier, possibly. Or someone can edit my movie for me. That'd be nice too. Either way.

I'm gonna open up the edit file and see what I can do. Or maybe I'll lay down next to my fan again. We'll see what happens.

Welcome to Maryland

2008-05-28T00:03:00.001-04:00

Quick DC 101 (our rock station here) interview as soon as I got in range

Woman: I've had an orgasm every time I've had sex.

DJ: Every time? How many times have you had sex?

Woman: 2.

DJ: Only 2?

Woman: I didn't want to have sex just to have sex, it was special. I knew my guy could do it.

DJ: So only 2 times? What happened?

Woman: I left him.

DJ: He was 2 for 2, what did he do to make you leave?

Woman: He was terrible. He lied, he cheated he, stole.

DJ: Well no one's perfect.

Woman: He was also sent to jail for a while, that was the last straw.

DJ: What did he go to jail for.

Woman: Stealing a gum ball machine.

DJ: Ok, I'm done with this story.

Thank you DC 101.

Hello World

2008-05-25T17:01:00.001-04:00

Consider this a new blog for a renewed, fresh start.

First real official post coming post-move home